


Lady Amalia: The Almost Queen

by DarkLadyAthara



Series: The Lady Adyé Series [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Prequel, Romance, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-08-28 08:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8438638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkLadyAthara/pseuds/DarkLadyAthara
Summary: A Star Wars Prequel Trilogy FanFictionNeva Amalia Adyé had been many things already in her life: a Princess of Theed, the almost-Queen of Naboo and now an Aide to Senator Padme Amidala. But there was a deeper, secret reason why she'd taken the position offered her by Senator of Naboo. In truth, Neva had come to Coruscant to be closer to the one person she couldn't be with. Obi Wan Kenobi.Her Jedi.***This story is the first part of The Lady Adyé Trilogy, though by no means do they need to be read in order.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. I own only my O/Cs and my little plot tweaks. For the record, for this story I have counted only the Films as Canon (along with their corresponding Visual Dictionaries), pulling little bits of info and inspiration from EU and the TV series as I have seen fit.
> 
> This story is the first part of The Lady Adyé Trilogy, though by no means do they need to be read in order. 
> 
> This story has also been posted on FanFiction. net and Wattpad under the same title and penname.

The entire Capital was on edge and, for what felt like the millionth time, Neva couldn't help but wish she were back on Naboo. Far above Coruscant there was a battle ongoing; one that could very well decide the war. It had come out of nowhere. The Capital itself had been catapulted to the forefront of the war the instant the Chancellor was abducted.

Of course, there had been an immediate call to battle. The best of the Republic's Army had been recalled to combat the threat; both clones and Jedi. Many of those Jedi, having distinguished themselves throughout the course of the war, were revered throughout the galaxy as Heroes, which was as it should be in Neva's opinion. But she couldn't believe the way the Holonet was regarding them! It was completely dehumanizing, the way some of the networks were treating the battle. It was sickening. Some were all but narrating and commentating on every move they could pick up on, every bit of action as though it was a sporting event. It was barbaric how exciting some people seemed to think the battle was. And it was agonizing for those on the planet's surface who were hoping, praying that the ones they cared about in the battle would come home.

And then it happened. Word came that Obi-wan Kenobi and his former apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, having been recalled as well, had been in the process of storming the Flagship of the Separatist Army, the _Invisible Hand_. If the Holonet was to be believed, reports were coming in that the assault had failed, and the two Jedi killed.

All at once, Neva couldn't breath. It was as though her heart had stopped, or rather, was being pulverized within her chest. It was all she could do to remain standing as pain and grief coursed through her at the sound of her Jedi's name. Padmé Amidala was in no better shape where she sat a short way off with her closest handmaidens, Sabé and Dormé. The instant those words had been uttered, the Former Queen had gone deathly pale, her hands trembling uncontrollably within Sabé's. Neva had grown close to the Senator since coming to the Capital, their shared experiences within Naboo's political arenas providing an initial bond that had strengthened to friendship in the two years Neva had been on the Capital.

Two years previous, Neva had been poised to take the Throne as Naboo's newly elected Queen. She had been one of the longest reigning Princesses in Theed's history, having spent twelve years in office. She had effectively been the sole Mayor of Naboo for seven of those years and had been a member of the Royal Advisory Council for three; she had been entirely content where she was. Once, when she was far younger, she'd had ambitions to be Queen, and had only narrowly lost out to Jamillia in the previous election. She had realized then that her position as it was was more than enough for her.

Though she was from one of the smaller, river-side cities, she had come to love Theed, and understood it intimately. It was part of what made her such a good Princess. It also made her the trusted and preferred candidate after Jamillia had abruptly stepped down under whispers of corruption and Separatist sympathies. It was then that Neva Amalia had been thrust into the limelight. Everything happened in fast-forward. She was nominated by the Council as Regent, and since she was still technically a Princess of Theed, she was also a candidate for Queen.

Like many youths aspiring to hold public office, Neva spent time in the Legislative Youth Program and then in the Apprentice Legislature, though she had been somewhat older than most members when she joined. It had ended up being a relatively brief membership. Ultimately she had withdrawn from the organization upon being presented with the opportunity to become the Princess of Theed. That was shortly after she turned sixteen, just after Queen Amidala had been elected. There had also been another reason for her withdrawal from the programme; it was the small, simple fact that Neva hadn't quite had the same political aspirations as other members of the programme. She had never truly aspired to be more than a Princess of Theed. She had been absolutely terrified of becoming the Monarch. Sure she had always submitted herself for nomination when elections came around for the position of Queen, but that was because it was expected of her. But despite submitting herself for election, she had been pushed to the side as a candidate for her entire political career. Yet, in that whirlwind election, she had been chosen to replace Jamillia as Queen of Naboo.

She hadn't wanted it. Not in the slightest.

In the weeks leading up to the election, she had quickly learned that running Theed and running the System were two monumentally different tasks. She had come to know the different factions, guilds and committees that occupied Theed thoroughly, and she knew how they all fit together; how they meshed, cooperated, clashed, fought and disagreed. She had been working closely with them for over a decade, after all. Her problem had become that, while she had a similar working knowledge of how the System ran, it wasn't quite extensive enough, nor did she have the enthusiasm, or the blind idealism, she'd once had when she first became a Princess that would have helped her adapt. The politics rampant within the System were far more complicated and convoluted than her City. Plus there was the War and the Separatist movement to worry about. She had tried desperately to apply the knowledge she had to a completely different political creature, and it hadn't quite worked. It certainly hadn't helped that she was tired of politics and tired of political life.

Neva had been planning to withhold her name from the next Election and possibly retire once her current term as Princess of Theed had run out. As it was, not only was she one of the longest ruling Princesses, she was also one of the oldest Princesses to still hold office. At just over twenty-seven standard years old, all of her contemporaries had either gone onto different posts or had retired from public office entirely. Neva was tired, and the Clone Wars hadn't been an easy reality to live with. The atmosphere on Naboo had changed, especially in the Capital. Neva had known she was needed, that her system needed strong leadership to make it through to the end of the wars and she did have some experience on that front. When Jamillia abdicated, Neva had been at least a decade older than her opponents for the Monarchy and had been serving as Princess for nearly as long as the youngest had been alive. In the current political climate, that had been a rather desirable trait. But she was so sick of the violence and the unrest and the constant anxiety that permeated the atmosphere around her. Neva was a stereotypical citizen of Naboo; the thought of what gripped the rest of the galaxy dismayed her, and the thought of her system being pulled into it nearly broke her heart. She was ready to leave it all behind and move on with her life. She longed for something quieter, something peaceful.

She hadn't gotten that.

Even Jamillia couldn't have known of the conflict that built during the transition period. Neva hadn't officially been Regent for more than a day before the petitions had started pouring in. Many factions had attempted, some rather aggressively, to get legislation they wanted put through before the new monarch was elected, many to do with the Wars. It quickly got to the to the point where Neva had submitted a proposal to suspend any new legislation from being passed until after the election. That had earned her few friends. The council had accepted her motion with enthusiasm, for the most part. A couple of the Ministers hadn't particularly liked the idea, but they at least saw the wisdom in it, lending their support as well.

The interest groups, on the other hand, had a wider range of—sometimes troublesome—reactions. The petitions that Neva had been trying to staunch were the kind that served only limited groups to the detriment of others. In many cases there had been little real purpose to the proposed legislation beyond trying to garner the support of Naboo's most influential politicians. They would all wait, and likely would. Some petitioners had been disappointed, despondent and even baffled at why the council could possibly support such a motion. Others had been more understanding and even outright accepting. But others still had been positively livid. The representatives of the Mining Guilds, for instance, had made a positively dreadful racket, vehemently expressing their outrage at the council denying them a chance to 'speak up for and promote the interests of Naboo,' as they had put it. It was far more troubling.

The proposal Naboo's Spice Miners had been pushing had aimed to limit the use of several major ports to local and commercial use only; a move that would effectively bar the steady flow of refugees from the core and newly Separatist worlds. It was a contentious issue between Naboo's administration and the Guilds. Even Senator Amidala had been pulled into that conflict. The assassination attempt against the Senator the year previous had nearly been pinned to the Spice Miners, they were so vocal with their resentment. It had been completely lost on them that prevailing polls had shown that many of Naboo's citizens approved of allowing the influx of refugees to take shelter on their world, and indeed, had welcomed those displaced by the wars with great charity and compassion. Yet postponing any direct attention to the petition had inevitably created a tense situation, and it had gotten to the point where Neva wouldn't have put any sort of violent actions past them, even assassinations.

Well, she hadn't been wrong on that account. Threats, warnings and even death threats had begun appearing before the day had even ended.

That hadn't been the worst of it, though. There had also been far quieter and even more concerning undercurrents to some of the complaints coming from the representatives, and not just those within the Miner's Guild; undercurrents that were distinctly Separatist. Two of the petitions had even hinted at some sort of Separatist endgame. It had apparently been concerning enough that the Jedi Council on Coruscant had caught wind of it. The very day she had halted new legislation pending the election of the new Queen, a Jedi had appeared in the Throne Room, requesting an audience with the Regent and the Council.

It had taken a surprising amount of restraint for Neva not to let her bewilderment show. It wasn't just a Jedi, but an incredibly familiar Jedi. It had only taken her a moment to place where she had seen his face before. Obi-wan Kenobi had been all over the Holonet even then, at the beginning of the Wars; the Negotiator, as he was now known. More than that, she had recognized him from the aftermath of the Blockade. He had been one of the two Jedi sent to aid Naboo during the crisis, and the only one to survive the battle that liberated them. He was practically worshipped as a hero in some parts of the system, Theed especially.

She could still picture his entrance into the Throne Room perfectly, even if some of the finer details had become a little fuzzy. He had come before them with his hood down, his hands enfolded in his sleeves the way many Jedi at ease did. He did not quite look the larger than life warrior the Holonet made him out to be, nor was he as tall as she remembered him. But his unassuming appearance did nothing to detract from the poise or power he exuded. His bearded face was gentle and his expression kind, while his blue-grey eyes showed a keen intelligence. He was certainly pleasing enough to look at, she had noted absently. She had been so embarrassed then that she had even allowed herself to think such a thought.

Of course, considering everything that followed, she was really shouldn't have been surprised. The initial signs of attraction had been there from the beginning. Her heart had even begun beating a tiny bit faster the moment he had appeared. She had ignored it then, and really, she should have kept ignoring it, as should've Obi-wan. She had been somewhat underwhelmed by him that day in some respects, as had he apparently, but that hadn't stopped things from evolving at a whirlwind pace.

Before the election had even taken place, she had realized she was falling in love with him. And apparently he had also been falling in love with her. Fate had conspired to throw them at each other. It felt like the few quiet moments she had to herself in those few dozen days leading up to the election she was constantly thrust into his company. First it was morning encounters in the garden, then the odd walk through the city. As she looked back on it, it really did seem like fate had taken the reins in those few hectic weeks. He had been investigating the Separatist whispers and she had been fighting an internal battle over whether or not to withdraw from the election. He had calmed her mind and provided advice, and she had used her knowledge of Theed's political map to help him as best she could with his investigation. Neither had expected to develop feelings for the other.

It was that love that ultimately led her to where she was; standing off to the side in the private apartments of Naboo's Senator, waiting anxiously to hear what had become of the Jedi. Padmé had no idea that Neva's connection to Obi-wan was anything more than casual acquaintance. It was something that gnawed at Neva. After the assassination attempt that almost claimed her life, Neva had finally decided to retire from politics. She had always intended to pursue her dream of taking over her parents' dressmaking shop in the River City of Fara, a little way north of Theed. Instead, she had been asked by Senator Amidala personally to come to Coruscant to serve as an Aide, as well as, essentially, the Chamberlain of her Coruscant Residence and even an informal Stylist.

She had eventually accepted, thanks in no small part to the feelings that had developed between her and her Jedi. Not only had Obi-wan Kenobi saved her life that day in Theed, but he had also stolen her heart. Though they had admitted they could never really be together, the need for some sort of proximity had become overwhelming for the former Princess, hence her acceptance of Amidala's offer. The guilt of that secret, though, plagued her. Especially considering the similarities to the Senator's romantic attachment.

It was impossible for Padmé to hide her attachment to Anakin Skywalker from everyone, especially those closest to her, and while Neva wasn't exactly a confidant, she saw enough interaction between the two that suggested they were more than friends. And when she had inadvertently discovered Padmé's pregnancy... well, Neva wasn't the only one in love with a Jedi, it seemed.

It also meant that they had both quite possibly just lost someone they loved.

So, it was no small relief to the two of them when the news broke that Obi-wan and Anakin were not dead, but had successfully rescued the Chancellor. It took an incredible amount of effort for Neva not to sag in relief as the details were related over the Holonet, taking a tight grip on her green skirts to help control herself. Across the way, where she sat between her two closest confidants, Padmé did sag, looking for all the world like she was about to faint. Yet before the story had even finished broadcasting, she was back to her usual composed self, flying about in preparation to venture down to the Primary Senate Building to welcome back the Chancellor, or at least that was the reasoning she gave. Neva had no doubt it was to see with her own eyes that her Jedi was alive and well.

Sadly, Neva didn't have quite so good an excuse.

So, as Padmé and her handmaidens whisked out of the apartment, Neva was left alone with her thoughts. It had taken every ounce of strength to keep her composure in the others' company. Now that she was alone, she couldn't hold it in any longer.

Collapsing onto the couch Padmé had recently vacated, Neva couldn't do anything but sob in relief that her Jedi was all right... and despair that they were forced to remain apart.


	2. Chapter 2

The abruptness with which Neva was excused for the evening could only mean one thing; Padmé was expecting her Jedi to visit. The relief that had suffused the Senator's features when she had returned that afternoon had meant two things: one, her Jedi was alive and two, she had revealed her news that she was expecting their child. This was only a guess, mind, but Neva was almost certain that had been the case.

Truthfully, she had never seen Padmé's secret visitor visit the apartments, Padmé was far too careful for that. But she been in politics long enough and had spent enough time with the Senator to notice the subtle cues that had implicated Anakin. Padmé guarded herself in very particular ways when she was around him, and was always very careful with her reactions whenever the Hero with No Fear was mentioned. It was surprisingly easy to decode, really, though Neva suspected that was in part because she guarded herself in much the same way whenever her own Jedi was mentioned. Not only that, but on occasion the Senator did slip up, revealing hints of how extensive her feelings for the young Jedi went.

Really, Neva's suspicions had been roused even before the beginning of the Wars when, due to the attempts on her life, Senator Amidala had returned to Naboo for her own safety. Before disappearing into the Lake Country, She and Anakin, who had been serving as her protector then, had attended a brief, impromptu meeting with Queen Jamillia. As the Amidala's arrival was so unexpected, the only Council Members that had been present for the Senator's Reports were the ones who had already been in conference with the Queen when the Senator arrived; Governor Bibble, Minister Zapalo and Neva herself. The romantic and sexual tension between the Senator and the Jedi had been almost uncomfortable it was so intense. Neva had thought little of it at the time, but later, after having experienced her own romance and once she joined Padmé's staff on Coruscant, it had been undeniable that there had been something between them then already. Since then, things had obviously changed between the pair. The tension was not gone, per se, but was more subtle, more stable, more affectionate, even. There was little doubt in Neva's mind after that, and her certainty grew every time she saw them interact, especially as Anakin was not nearly so careful as Padmé, and certainly not very subtle. His feelings for the former Queen were all but laid bare every time he spoke of her. Whatever they had, he was not content to hide it or even capable of doing so.

So, when Padmé had politely sent Neva on her way that evening, Neva knew almost instinctively that it was because Anakin was likely to make an appearance. And truthfully, she was glad. This war was hard on everyone, especially on the Naboo Senator and her staff. They longed for peace; only Alderaan was known more for their devotion to pacifism than Naboo. The Naboo lived for democracy, and that was something this war was categorically ignoring. Very little got Padmé more riled up than when the Chancellor was granted more emergency powers, or when some democratic process was circumvented in the name of the war effort. The Senator, and Neva too when (or rather, if) she was asked, strongly advocated for Peace Talks rather than Battles whenever anyone would listen. Unfortunately, no one seemed to want to listen, and that simple fact was taking a toll on the Senator. Any time that Padmé had with her Jedi, even if it was only for a few moments, always boosted her spirits. Whatever the Senator and the Jedi had, it must be truly special. It was enough to make Neva green with envy, regardless of how happy she was for her friend.

During their brief time together on Naboo, Obi-wan's presence had had much the same effect on her. While their initial meeting in the Throne Room had been somewhat rocky, she soon came to respect the Jedi greatly.

The first time they had encountered each other privately, he had actually apologized for coming across as though the Jedi thought the Advisory Council ignorant of the Separatist threat on their planet. Unfortunately, she hadn't taken the apology as graciously as she could have, and that was something she regretted deeply. So much so that she had sought him out the next day, meeting in much the same manner as the previous morning.

It was in one of the Palace's many private gardens, shortly after dawn three days after he had first appeared in Theed and five days after she had been named Regent. She had inadvertently met him there the day before, when things had not gone as well as they could have. So, when she caught sight of him walking quietly among the spring blooms, her heart leapt into her throat. She hadn't known what it was that made her so nervous around him. At first she had thought, perhaps, that it was a bit of latent hero-worship. After all, he had helped save them when the Trade Federation had attempted to invade.

Their meeting in the Throne Room hadn't really been their first introduction, though she doubted he would remember the first. She was a newly appointed Princess when the Invasion had occurred, and had been at the Celebration Parade after the victory over the Federation. There had been a small Gala hosted by the leaders of Naboo to show their gratitude to those responsible for ensuring Naboo's freedom. It was during that party that Queen Amidala had introduced the Princesses to the Jedi and his newly minted apprentice, Anakin. Neva had to admit Kenobi had been a childhood crush of hers thanks to that meeting.

Obi-wan had changed very little since then. His face was still handsome and kind, though with the odd crease that hadn't been there before. His eyes had no longer held the sadness at his Master's death that she remembered from the Gala, but instead held a graveness borne of the Wars. He had also since grown a beard, which she thought suited him. She hadn't been able help but watch him for a few moments that morning. He had moved silently through the gardens, his fingers every so often reaching out to brush against the newly opened petals that lined the path. In that moment she had envied the Jedi his mastery of the Force. Though she had met very few Jedi in her life, one thing she had noticed of all of them was the calm and peace they exuded. They all felt safe. Obi-wan Kenobi was no exception. Even now she remembered that, from across the garden, she could practically feel the tranquility she had come to associate with the Order.

As if hearing her thoughts, he had chosen that moment to look up, meeting her gaze. As soon as those blue-grey eyes met her hazel ones, her anxieties began to melt away. It was an extraordinary feeling, and to this day, she had no idea whether he had purposefully helped ease her mind, or if it was merely a reaction to his presence. Either way, she found she was far calmer because of it, and for that she had been immeasurably grateful. They had met up in the centre of the garden, and thanks to her calmed mind, Neva found she was able to apologize properly. But before she had even been able to finish, he had cut her off, the hint of a smile on his face.

"There is no need, Milady. It was perfectly clear that you were rather distressed yesterday morning, and I was in no way offended by your reaction. Especially upon discovering for myself how things seem to have escalated since you accepted the position as Regent." Neva could easily remember the feel of the blood leaving her face, but Obi-wan had continued, understanding written on every word, "I have heard of the threats made against your person since your motion was passed. Though I have not spent much time on Naboo, I know enough that it is entirely unusual for such a level of violence to be levelled against its politicians. I also know that it means there is a very real threat to you." Neva had tried to smile, but it had failed miserably. It was true. Serious threats had been made against Neva by that point. Threats of that magnitude against the lives of politicians on Naboo were rare indeed, and always taken very seriously, especially after the assassination of King Veruna.

"The Mining Guilds have taken the Council's stance on postponing public legislation proposals rather personally, I fear. And as I am the Regent, and likely the next Queen, they hold me responsible. Plus, as my platform for Election includes keeping Naboo's ports open to refugees, their anger is not likely to recede. Even now, many have begun campaigning against me. It's unheard of." He had looked at her strangely then, giving her the feeling that he could read her like a book. She had begun to nervously play with the beaded suspensas hanging from the broach over her collarbone. Even then she had been unable to keep anything from him and she had barely known him. He was far too perceptive for her comfort, sometimes.

"There is something else troubling you, Milady. Something unrelated to the threats against you." He had picked up on her hesitation at mention of her impending election. It had been evident then already that it was less and less likely that she would be passed over that election, even with the discontent being roused by the Guilds. She had sighed then, and in a somewhat uncharacteristic moment of candidness, she had spilled her anxieties about being elected to a position she had been passed over repeatedly for, and had recently realized that she didn't want. She had even told him of her dreams of one day returning to Fara, and taking over the Dressmaking business her family had run for generations or maybe even opening a small shop in Theed. He had listened patiently, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder when she had finished.

Until that moment, she hadn't realized just how much the stress had been weighing on her. For the first time in a very long time, Obi-wan's company allowed her to not only release some of her anxieties, but to restore that inner calm that she had been struggling to regain. Looking back, she was pretty sure that was when she started falling in love with him. His hand on her shoulder was comforting in a way she hadn't been expecting, as his was willingness to listen to Neva. She was used to people listening to Amalia, but it was rare that anyone just listened to Neva. It was something she hadn't realized she had been longing for. Their gazes met then, and something had passed between them, something she still couldn't explain, but a connection had been forged nonetheless.

Even now, years after they had decided a true relationship was not possible, she still felt it. There was never going to be anyone else for her. Like Padmé, who was even now likely in the arms of her Jedi, Neva had found her soulmate, only to be barred from him by the rules of his Order. Had he been anything but a Jedi, they could have made a future together. Anakin and Padmé obviously made it work, to some extent. Then again, Anakin was far more headstrong and impulsive than Obi-wan. From what the older Jedi had told her, Anakin had always been that way, and had frequently ignored and broken the rules; admittedly he hadn't been raised to it the way other Jedi were, and that had influenced many of the younger Jedi's actions. Obi-wan, on the other hand, was far more bound by the Code than his former apprentice, and he very much lived his life by the rules of the Jedi.

But what kind of life was it, really, that Padmé and Anakin were eking out? All the secrets, the lies? The secrecy and deception was beginning to tear Padmé apart; Neva could see it a little more everyday. And now there was a child involved. She didn't know how they were going to manage it, or how Padmé was going to endure it.

Neva couldn't fathom being unable to tell her child about its father. The Naboo as a people were so family-oriented, Neva wasn't sure how Padmé was going to cope emotionally. Anakin couldn't be a true father to their child, not without risking everything they both had. As much as Neva longed to find a way to make her love work as her friend had, she couldn't even imagine putting Obi-wan, or herself for that matter, through that kind of heartache.

Instead she had resigned herself to live with another kind of heartache. Having retreated to the secrecy of her own apartments, Neva began preparing herself to retire, shedding the heavy, forest green surcoat she wore almost the instant she passed over the threshold. As per usual, the first thing she did was let loose her hair from its elaborate coiled style to fall in dark cascading waves down her back. The expectation of intricate hairstyles in Naboo Royal and Political fashion was one part of public life she had always hated.

As she shook her hair out, gently massaging feeling back into her scalp, she made her way over to her desk, delving into one of the deeper drawers for the Personal Holoprojector she kept hidden there. Small enough to fit in the palm of her hand, it didn't take her long at all to scroll through the projections she had saved on it to get to the one she needed to see at that moment.

It was a small sound-less clip from a Holonet broadcast about 'The Negotiator' that she had saved. It had been focused on one or another of Obi-wan's battles, she really wasn't sure which, but it was an image of him, immortalized. He looked rather serious as he surveyed something, his arms crossed pensively as he stroked his beard, but there was a hint of a smile around his mouth, and his eyes held nothing but the kindness Neva had noticed right from the beginning. It encapsulated him so perfectly, that she hadn't been able to fight the impulse that made her save it. On most nights when she felt the need to see his face, she always managed to draw some comfort from it. Tonight, however, seeing his face wasn't enough.

Sighing sadly, Neva turned the Holoprojector off. But she couldn't put it away. Instead, she allowed herself to lie back, not caring that she was creasing the coppery-green fabric of her dress. She just lay there, turning the small silver and black item over and over in her hands as she did until, finally, her thoughts became dreams, and she slept.


	3. Chapter 3

Nothing could have surprised Neva more when she made her way to the Veranda to see who had flown up. Instantly she recognized that it was a Jedi fighter, but she didn't think that Anakin was supposed to be dropping by. She would have been told to expect him otherwise, or she would have been sent on some errand or dismissed for the afternoon. So she was a little wary when the security systems monitoring the Senator's Residence indicated the one-man ship was pulling up to the Primary Landing Platform. But when she did see who it was, it was all she could do not to run to him.

Instead, she maintained her composure as Obi-wan made his way up to the Veranda, though it was still a struggle to keep her emotions in check. Even smoothing and adjusting her navy-blue robes the way she usually did to release nerves didn't help. Though he appeared as calm and collected as he always did, there was a wariness about him as he climbed the steps that put her on edge. But then he caught sight of her and it seemed to melt away. She couldn't suppress the smile that came to her lips when she saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw her. Even as the time had passed, his feelings hadn't dimmed, and that brought her a joy she never seemed to anticipate.

"Master Kenobi, it is truly wonderful to see you again." Oh, how that didn't even begin to cover it. Obi-wan smiled in response, greeting her with the bow customary to the Jedi Order.

"Milady Amalia, the pleasure is truly mine," _I have missed you_ , his eyes seemed to say _. I know_ , she wanted to say back. They both knew they should really be trying to distance themselves from whatever this was that still existed between them, but Neva had absolutely no desire to do so in this instant. It had been a long time since she had seen him last, and longer still since she had been alone with him. She didn't know what to say. There was simply too much. Part of her wanted to burst out and declare that she still loved him, and wanted to be with him no matter the cost. She silently scolded herself for that one; Padmé's secret affair was having a bad influence on her own self-control, apparently. She also just wanted to run up and pull him into her arms and kiss him. He had done that for her once before, and she couldn't forget the feeling; it had been like coming home.

But she couldn't do that either. She could only graciously invite him in, offering refreshment and a seat, both of which he politely accepted. Still, he was actually there, sitting only a few feet from her. She still didn't know what to say. Should she pretend as though they were nothing more than the casual acquaintance her employer believed? Or should she take the chance to try to—what? She couldn't follow the thought through. There was nothing to confront him with, and nothing they could do. Their agreement had been mutual and logical. She knew better than to dredge that up, regardless of the heartache it was causing her.

They had grown so close in such a short amount of time back on Naboo. Their morning walk in the Gardens had almost immediately become a daily routine, and was often supplemented with the occasional walk through the City. His investigation had required some familiarity with the City, some of which she had supplied. She had pointed out Guild and Committee buildings, as well as places where the few known vocal Separatist supporters tended to frequent and suggested contacts that he could use to get a feel for Separatist sentiments throughout Naboo. She had also supplied the names on the two decidedly Separatist Petitions for him to investigate.

Theed was one of the largest Cities on Naboo, the centre of political power and the seat of the Monarch. If he had been likely to find Separatist activity anywhere, it was going to be within the City limits. Many groups and organizations had at least some base within the City, so there was a wealth of different factions that operated within Theed, each with their own attitudes and agendas. Some were more vocal and less cautious than others, but if there was a particular sentiment to be found in the System, it would be found in some form in Theed.

It also meant that he was able to carry out his investigation without having to journey far from the City. It meant he was able to stay close to her.

By the time Election Day had come around, they had grown very close indeed, building off the initial connection they had both tried to ignore that first day in the Throne Room. It had been so easy. He was one of the few people that Neva found she could truly talk to. She was drawn to the calm in him, the soothing nature of his presence, and apparently he had been drawn to the way she had sought peace, and sought a quieter existence. She understood his desire for diplomacy to take the place of fighting, that he wanted nothing more than end to the bloodshed. He was not a Jedi made for War, not really. He was a skilled warrior, of course, no one could doubt that. But he was growing as tired of war as she was of politics. She soon came to understand that about him. He may have come across as calm and reserved, but underneath that, he was seeking the same kind of respite that she was.

They hadn't intended to do it, but they soon began to seek out each other's presence, often without meaning to. Somehow they had fallen in love without even realizing it. His calm had suited her reserve perfectly. They just fit somehow. Neva hadn't had much experience with love; her life had been politics, so she hadn't had time for love. The reality had turned out very different from what she thought falling in love would be like. It was quiet, subtle. She had always believed that when she fell in love, she would know it. She had also assumed that it would take longer than just a few weeks to forge such a connection with another living being. Instead, it had taken an assassination attempt to make her fully understand just what had been growing between her and Obi-wan. That one decisive moment that had changed the course of her life also made her realize that Obi-wan wasn't just any Jedi, but her Jedi.

It was the day the Election Results had poured in that everything had changed. She had been on the balcony, ready to give her official address as Queen Elect before proceeding to the actual Coronation Ceremony. The blaster fire had come out of nowhere. Obi-wan had stood nearby, off to the side but ready, should anything happen. Once the Jedi Council had gotten wind of the severity of the threats made against Neva, they had suggested that Obi-wan also keep an eye out for her safety while he was there. But even with his Force-driven intuition and reflexes, that one stray blasterbolt had nearly killed her. She didn't remember much of the aftermath, all she remembered was the pain; the searing, stabbing intensity of it ripping through her abdomen. Really, had it not been for the abundant swaths of luxurious red fabric that made up her traditional gown, the shot would not have missed killing her by the fraction it had. That aside, Obi-wan's inhuman speed hadn't quite been enough, and she knew that the thought still plagued him.

He had told her so. The first time she had awoken after the attempt on her life, he had been there. He had been standing by the window, stroking his beard as was his habit when he was deep in thought. It had taken a moment, and the sound of her voice, to pull him from wherever he had disappeared to.

They had talked then, for hours on end, and throughout the next few days, in the small garden where they had first been alone. She could barely even remember all that they had said. It was mostly about everything and nothing in particular, though he did update her on the investigation into whoever had made the attempt on her life. In the days that she had been healing, Obi-wan had spearheaded the investigation. The bounty hunter who had taken the shot, who Obi-wan swore he would track down, had fled off-world. But they had managed to track down those who had given the order for the attempt; a few of the more zealous Miners who had taken her position on Naboo's spaceports rather too personally. She begged him to stop explaining before he got into to many details; she didn't want to hear it, didn't want to know. She'd heard enough. She had had enough.

For the most part, though, they just spoke of whatever came to mind. He told her of the life of a Jedi, telling her stories from his own apprenticeship and his training of Anakin. She shared stories of her childhood in Fara, and of beginning her official training as a seamstress before her aptitude tests had revealed her potential talents for public office. They told each other of their families; Obi-wan of Qui-gon Jinn, Anakin and what little he knew of his birth family, Neva of her father, stepmother and half-brothers. Obi-wan told her more about the Jedi Order, and she told him more about Naboo and its rich culture. They spoke of the Wars and politics and the toll they took. It was during those long conversations that she realized she could not hope to be the kind of Queen she should. Sure, she would do the job credit, and would likely lead her people well, but her heart wasn't in it anymore, and she was too jaded by the war and what felt like a lifetime of politics to approach her rule with the kind of optimism and idealism that her people deserved. That they needed in the midst of the Wars. It was in part thanks to talking with him and listening to him that she had finally decided to abstain from the position.

They had also spoken of their wishes for a quieter life. There had been a hint of longing in his eyes when she spoke of her dreams of her little dress shop and lazy afternoons in the garden. He was a Jedi; he could not have dreams like that. Even in a Galaxy at peace, the life of a Jedi would never be simple or quiet. Her heart went out to him then. Her hopes for the future had been what had sustained her through her last few years in office. It was then that she realized she truly wanted nothing more than to share her quiet future with the Jedi in front of her.

Whether it was lingering effects of the medications she had been given, the soothing effect of his presence, a moment of pure impulse or a combination of the three, she had blurted out exactly that; that she wished they could share a future.

His response had been to kiss her. She hadn't expected it at all. It was an impulsive move on his part that neither of them had anticipated. She was stunned when his lips met hers, his hand moving to cup her face. She had barely time to react before he pulled away, his fingers dropping from her skin as though shocked. She had felt that same spark, her face flushed and her skin on fire where he had touched her. Her response was not something she had expected either. Almost immediately he had begun apologizing for being so impulsive, but she hadn't allowed him to finish, bridging the distance between them and kissing him herself. Apparently her own lack of restraint had been infectious, for he had instantly pulled her closer, enclosing her within his embrace as he deepened the kiss. It was several long moments before they had pulled apart, and when they did, Neva hadn't moved to extricate herself from his arms. She felt at home there.

"I think I have fallen in love with you, Obi-wan Kenobi," she had said; she easily remembered every word she had said then, "and I don't know what to do. About you, this, about anything anymore." His fingers had moved to idly trace patterns on her neck as she spoke. She knew she should feel some sort of anxiety or fear at baring her feelings to him so abruptly, but surprisingly she didn't. She was at peace with it. Perhaps being so close to death had allowed her a special clarity to perceive what mattered most. Or a certain recklessness. Who could know.

But she was also a realist. She knew the necessary outcome. He had met her gaze, and his blue-grey eyes showed just how conflicted he was in that moment. She had continued, then, trying to quiet the flash of panic she had seen in those normally calm eyes. A twinge of grief had settled in her chest then, leaving an ache that she still felt almost two years later.

"I know little, if anything, can come of my feelings, Obi-wan. I am no fool, and I well know the realities of this galaxy," she had hesitated then as the ache had nestled itself further into her chest, "I know that even if you reciprocate my feelings, you are a Jedi, and that you are bound by that life. Nothing more needs to be said." He had straightened, a fire coming to light in his usually calm gaze.

"But I will say it nonetheless. I am a Jedi. I am bound by the Code of my Order." Neva hadn't been able to hold his eyes, for the fervor in them had only fed the feelings she was trying to suppress in that moment. His devotion, his loyalty to the things he believed in was just one of the many traits she had fallen in love with. He had reached out, though, his fingertips brushing against her jaw as he had turned her back to face him. "That being said, Neva Adyé, to say I have come to share your feelings would be an understatement. Never have I been more tempted to forswear my commitment than in this instant." Panic had flared within Neva as he had spoken those words. Though they had really only known each other for a short time at that point, she had come to know him well enough to realize that if he were to forswear himself from the Jedi, it would destroy him. He hadn't allowed her time to object, pausing only to take an emotion-laden breath.

"But as much as I have come to love you in these last weeks, I cannot betray my Order, even if it means betraying my own feelings. I am sorry, Neva. It should never have come to this. I should never have allowed—" She had cut him off then, a sad smile on her face as she had reached out to stroke his bearded jawline.

"The fault does not rest with you alone, Ben." It had been a slip of the tongue, but her slip had drawn a small, wry grin that teased the corner of his mouth. On one of their first outings alone through Theed, they had been attempting to wander anonymously, and she had, through no small amount of teasing, begun calling him Ben after a brief but rather juvenile conversation about aliases and the fact that Jedi rarely use them. Somehow, the name had stuck, and she had often called him that when they had wandered alone. She had fought back the answering smile that had threatened her resolve, and had pushed on, every word feeling like a knife in her chest.

"I also should have practiced better control over myself. I should never have allowed this either." She had stood then, and pulling herself from his embrace had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. "But it has. And I think we both know what has to happen," she remembered having to force the air into her lungs to say what she'd had to say next, "we have to stop this. No matter our personal desires. We must try to forget these feelings." Her strength had failed then, and the tears that she had been withholding had begun to fall. He had been there to brush them away, though, and when she had met his gaze, she had known that even though he agreed with every word she'd said, and that it was to be a mutual decision.

And that, like her, his feelings were not likely to ever diminish. He never even had to say a word. But he had. He had agreed with her, and had agreed whatever had grown between them was not meant to extend beyond their Garden.

In some ways it hadn't. Neva had never breathed a word of her love for Obi-wan, and she doubted he had either. But her feelings had not dimmed, and judging by the look in his eyes as they sat together on Senator Amidala's Veranda, neither had his. So in a way, what they had agreed to leave among the fragrant scents and delicate blossoms of their Garden had not been so fully abandoned as it should have.

Neva knew she only had moments. The instant the proximity alert had been triggered, Padmé would have been alerted as well, and was likely freshening up a bit before making her way to the Veranda to greet her guest. She would, of course want to visit with Obi-wan as the two of them had become quite good friends over the years. It would be indiscreet for Neva to remain, to intrude on their conversation, no matter her private connection to Obi-wan.

"Are you pleased to be back on Coruscant?" she finally managed to ask. The silence had been too much, and she had been consciously trying not to pick at the embroidery on her navy velvet capelette or straighten her pale blue skirts in her nervousness.

"I have been given another mission that will take me to the Outer Rim, but yes, it was refreshing to be back at the Temple," he hesitated for a moment, and her breath caught in her throat, "though it is not quite so peaceful as Naboo... nor quite so beautiful. I find I miss the Gardens far more than I could have ever imagined." His eyes said so much more than that, though. It was enough to send a pleased shiver up Neva's spine. She placed a hand on the couch cushion, steadying herself. She noticed his hand was close enough that they were almost touching. He shifted, closing that distance so that their fingertips brushed against each other, the familiar heat racing between them. Everything she had tried to bury—her love, her heartache, her lingering fear from having thought him killed—surged to the surface, and she felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes. His gaze was so constant, so sure despite their past agreement to forget this. He did not regret their connection, no matter that they could not act upon it. Her voice, when she finally managed to work up the nerve, was little more than a whisper.

"Ben, I was so afraid when I heard—" It was then that her time ran out; Padmé's confident footsteps were unmistakable as the Senator approached the Veranda. Neva's eyes closed, her gaze dropping from Obi-wan's as she fought to regain her composure.

It felt like her heart was breaking all over again, such was her disappointment. Obi-wan quietly cleared his throat, the sound an audible cue that he was burying his feelings for her deep down where no one could find them. Neva had no idea how Padmé could do it. Neva's relationship with Obi-wan was nothing more that a fragile memory and cherished fantasy, yet keeping it a secret was still the hardest thing the Former Princess had ever had to do. As they heard Senator Amidala step onto the Veranda, both Neva and Obi-wan stood. As she turned to face her friend and employer, Neva's face was once again schooled to a pleasant, neutral expression, betraying nothing of the inner turmoil and frustration she was feeling. Obi-wan's expression was similarly masked, though the wariness she had noticed earlier when he arrived had returned.

"Senator Amidala, it is a pleasure to see you again." Neva barely heard Obi-wan as he greeted Padmé, she was trying too hard to rebury her feelings. Padmé, dressed already in voluminous green senatorial robes that hid her condition, took her time descending to where Obi-wan and Neva stood.

"It had been too long, Master Obi-wan. Really, you should have visited sooner. I was worried for your safety when I heard you were to be one of the Jedi sent to rescue the Chancellor." Neva couldn't help but admire Padmé's ability to convey friendly, genuine concern while still exuding nothing but a professional demeanour. She was very good at separating herself from her personal feelings, save where another Jedi was concerned. Neva was not half so good. She was still struggling to rein in her reaction to Obi-wan's comments and her own anxieties. It was then that Padmé gave Neva the subtle but pointed glance that signalled her wish for some time alone with their guest. Forcing a smile onto her face, she made to excuse herself.

"If you will excuse me, I have some business to attend to, Milady. It was lovely to see you again, Master Kenobi." She nodded her head in respect to the Jedi, as she was required to do, though she desperately wished to embrace him, even if only for a moment.

"And you, Lady Amalia. And thank you for your kind company as I waited." She nearly faltered at the flicker of disappointment in his eyes, but, steeling herself, she ignored it. She glanced back only once as she left the Veranda, taking a final look at her Jedi, who was already engrossed in friendly conversation with Naboo's Senator.

As she retreated further into the Apartments, the ache in her chest returned with full force. She hadn't even realized the ache had abated in his presence, but its return made her regret leaving the Veranda that much more. Forcing herself to take a deep, steadying breath, Neva forcibly tried to push Obi-wan from her thoughts. She did truly have things that needed to be done, after all.

Unfortunately, it didn't work. It seemed he was as permanent a fixture in her thoughts as he was in her heart.


	4. Chapter 4

From her rooms she could see the Temple burning; a hazy red smudge on the horizon at the base of a massive column of black smoke. Anxiety flaring with in her chest, Neva's thoughts suddenly turned to Obi-wan before remembering with no small amount of relief that he was off-planet. It was then that her thoughts turned to Padmé; Anakin was not off-planet, and the Senator was alone this evening. Without a moment's hesitation, she tore herself away from the window, leaving her own portion of the apartments and entering Padmé's.

Everything felt wrong. Padmé had been acting even more on edge than usual. After her conversation with Obi-wan earlier that morning she had re-entered the central chambers of the apartments looking distinctly troubled. It was not a new state for the former Queen; since his return, her few rendezvous with Anakin hadn't had the same soothing effect they'd had in the past. Something was going on with the young Jedi, something more than his sudden strange appointment to the Jedi Council as the Chancellor's Representative. Even Neva had noticed that during the one encounter she'd had with him since the Battle over the Capital.

In addition to that, some of the meetings the Senator had attended in the last few days had been doing little but causing Padmé even more stress. Whatever had been happening behind those closed doors, Padmé was deeply troubled by it. Neva had been tempted to pry, both into the conversation with Obi-wan and the mysterious meetings, but refrained from doing so. Padmé wasn't likely to reveal what was troubling her. In keeping her secrets, the Senator had become far less open with Neva as the years had passed. She internalized everything now, or, if she desperately needed to talk, which was rare thanks to all the secrecy, she only confided in her handmaidens.

Neva was only an aide, not a confidant, and even then, she had been charged with running the Senator's household more than assisting her with Senate business, but that was something Neva was grateful for. After the attempt on her life and her soul-searching conversations with Obi-wan, Neva had wanted little to do with politics anymore. At first she had found Amidala's proposal odd, but when she found out the duties she was to be charged with, she felt far more at ease consenting. However, it did mean that she was not to be nearly as close to Padmé as she might have been as a true Senatorial Aide. It also meant that, as far as confidences went, Neva was close to the Senator, running her household and all, but she was not nearly so close to Padmé as her Handmaidens. True, she did periodically help the Former Queen design and create her elaborate senatorial garments, but if Neva hadn't been so involved in Padmé's wardrobe, she wondered she would have even been told of Padmé's pregnancy. Even so, she had found out by accident. But, she had kept the secret, and had even helped in altering and creating fashions that hid Padmé's condition. She had even suggested that she, the Handmaidens and any other female staff begin wearing similar styles to further imply mere fashion dictated the Senator's changing garments rather than her changing body.

Neva suspected that part of Padmé's request for Neva to join her staff on Coruscant came from her background in Naboo's garment and textiles industries. The Adyés had run their Dressmaking Shops for generations. Her paternal Aunt and Cousins had opened a popular salon in Theed shortly before Neva was appointed as a Princess, while Neva's father, and her grandmother before him, ran their ancestral shop in Fara quite successfully. Both shops had, on occasion, produced Gowns for Naboo's monarchs, including Amidala. Even as a Senator, with her expanded choices for fashion, Padmé's closet still contained gowns created in Adyé Shops. Clothing was a deeply ingrained mode of expression on Naboo, particularly in the political arena, and it was a tradition that Padmé had retained even after her duties catapulted her into Intergalactic Politics. A Nabooian Politician's Garments had the ability to say as much as a well-written speech; it was an aspect of public life that was often taken quite seriously.

Neva had inherited the talent that had brought so much success to her family, and even during her tenure as Princess of Theed, had still worked closely with her father, designing and supervising the creation of most of her own official, ceremonial and personal clothing. In fact, during many of Neva's more informal encounters with the Former Queen in the time they had known each other, conversation had eventually turned to fashions, and admiration on Padmé's part of Neva's wardrobe or her family's handiwork. It had created a closeness that, while perhaps shallow in some respects, had helped pave the way for a casual friendship that lasted through Amidala's terms as Queen. It had opened the door for the two Royal women to further bond when Padmé caught wind of the Election results, the assassination attempt and Neva's subsequent abstention from accepting the Throne.

Thanks to their previous relationship, Senator Amidala had returned to Naboo upon receiving news of the attempt on Neva's life and the chaos her near mortal injury had caused. It was also the reason why Neva had been comfortable enough to confide in the Former Queen about her private desire to withdraw from political life, and Padmé hadn't judged. She had even genuinely and openly supported Neva's choice to retire from Public office, declaring in a public statement that, in addition to needing time to recover from her injuries, Neva deserved to live her own life after having sacrificed so many years and even risked her life out of her sense of duty to Naboo and its people. It had greatly affected the perception of Neva abstaining, preventing the public from turning against her and allowing her to bow out of office with dignity. It had indebted Neva to the Senator and further cemented the growing bond between the two women.

So, though Neva was not Padmé's closest confidant, she still considered the Senator a close friend. That was part of why she was so concerned for Padmé. The Senator was already worried about Anakin, and now, with the Temple burning and no word about what was going on? Neva was beginning to fear for not just Padmé's emotional wellbeing, but her health as well. On top of everything else, all the stress and worry couldn't be good for the baby.

It was dark in the apartment as Neva entered. Apprehension sent a shiver down her spin, causing the former Princess to wrap her heavy sable-coloured surcoat just a little tighter. It was yet another thing that didn't feel right. She had known that Padmé had already dismissed her Handmaidens for the evening, stating a wish to be alone, but the apartment felt too quiet.

Thankfully it didn't take long to find the Senator. She was a still silhouette looking out at the forbidding glow of the besieged Temple. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she jumped in fright when Neva laid a gentle hand on her arm.

"Neva, I—I don't—I haven't heard a word." Neva tried to give the frightened Senator a comforting smile, but she couldn't manage it. Instead, she took the Senator's hand, giving it a squeeze. Neva looked back out at the Temple.

"You don't even know if he's in the Temple. He might be with the Chancellor. Maybe even now they are coming up with a plan to fix what's happening." Padmé nodded absently, not looking at all reassured. She didn't even seem to fully register Neva's presence, and certainly didn't question how the former Princess knew whom she was talking about.

"I sent Threepio to contact the Chancellor's office," the Senator murmured, more to herself than anything else, it seemed. Several long moments later, Neva finally caught some movement out of the corner of her eye indicating the droid's return. Off to the side, C-3PO approached hesitantly.

"The Chancellor's office indicated Master Anakin returned to the Jedi Temple. Don't worry, My Lady. I am sure he will be all right." Neva looked to her friend. Padmé's face showed little sign that the news had affected her, that is, until Threepio moved off, muttering sadly to himself.

As soon as he had moved away, Padmé broke down completely. It was all Neva could do to keep the Senator on her feet as she sobbed into the former Princess's shoulder. Neva could only hold her in silence, helpless to do anything but look on as the Jedi Temple burned.

* * *

Neva jolted awake to the sound of quiet voices not far away. It had taken a while for Padmé to calm herself enough that Neva was able to guide her toward the couches, encouraging her to sit before she fell over. The Senator had looked so pale and anxious that Neva had been severely tempted to send for a healer or at least a medical droid. Neither had wanted to retire for the night after what they had witnessed, plus Neva suspected that Padmé was hoping Anakin would contact her to say he was all right. So they had both settled onto the couches, waiting anxiously and silently for any word. After a while, Neva must have dozed off, for the next thing she knew, she was waking up, and far off in the distance the horizon was beginning to lighten, heralding that the night had passed far more swiftly than she had anticipated.

It was then that she realized she could hear voices winding up from the Veranda. She was immediately on her feet, almost tripping on her chestnut skirts and her heavy velvet surcoat as she made her way downstairs. As soon as she rounded the corner out onto the Veranda, a surge of relief went through her when she saw it was Anakin. He and Padmé stood close together, speaking quietly. Normally, she would have let them be, but things still felt so wrong. She had to know what was going on.

As she approached, the couple were pulling apart, Anakin beginning to retreat to his fighter. There was something very wrong in his expression. Something had changed. Neva felt a flash of panic and fear surge through her. It took a great deal of effort to keep herself calm and, not for the first time, Neva was thankful that her political career had prepared her to keep the majority of her feelings to herself and press on, though it was proving harder than usual.

"Master Skywalker," she called out, willing herself not to flinch as he turned his intense gaze on her. Padmé paled when she caught sight of Neva approaching, but Neva paid her little mind. "We were all so afraid, with the Temple burning—What is happening? Is it the Separatists? Has there been another attack on the Capital?" Anakin's expression darkened, and something inside Neva twisted in fear. She forced the feeling away, willing herself not to flee.

"The Jedi have staged a Rebellion against the Republic." Neva's jaw dropped. It was unthinkable! The Jedi could never... "They are now our Enemies just as much as the Separatists. We are now fighting a War on two fronts, though it will all be over soon." Neva began to unconsciously shake her head; the Jedi were the protectors of the Republic. There had to be a mistake. Her thoughts and fears instantly turned to the one Jedi she cared about most. Before she could think of the consequences, she acted on her fears, the words spilling from her mouth.

"What of Master Kenobi? Has there been any word from him? Is he—all right?" She had hesitated, unable to voice her first thought, that he had been killed. Anakin's expression shifted again, a harsh, thoughtful expression coming to his face. It was almost accusing. Neva again fought the urge to distance herself from him.

"Why do you care so much about Obi-wan?" His tone was almost angry, and the threads of the accusation she had seen in his face wove through his words. Neva's mind kicked into overdrive. Thankfully, the ability to form quick, convincing responses in a heartbeat was essential to surviving in the world of politics; it was an ability Neva had always had in great proficiency.

"He saved my life once, and for that I will always be indebted to him. Plus, he is the only Jedi I know personally, beyond you. I like to think of him as a friend." She pushed her feelings for her Jedi as far away as she could as she spoke. Obi-wan could always read her like a book, and she had never discovered if that was because of the connection they seemed to share or his Force-ability. She knew a little about shielding her mind from Force-users, and all her instincts in that moment were screaming at her to keep the extent of her feelings for Obi-wan from the Jedi in front of her. Anakin just watched her for a moment, obviously deep in thought. Neva struggled to keep her composure under his stare.

Padmé had remained silent through the exchange, watching her Jedi intently. Her brow had furrowed worriedly when Anakin's tone had changed, and as he surveyed Neva the Senator had taken a step closer, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. At the contact, his gaze dropped to her, his expression easing. Something passed silently between them, and after a moment, Anakin's shoulders fell ever so slightly, his anger melting away just a little to reveal how betrayed he was feeling in that moment.

"I don't know. If he has remained loyal to the Chancellor, he may yet be alright, but there has been no word." Neva stopped herself from gasping in fear at Anakin's tone more than his words. He doubted Obi-wan's loyalty. The subtext was there, plain for all to see. Padmé's gaze shot to Anakin's face in alarm as he spoke. More than that, he didn't expect his former master to survive. Neva struggled to hold back the tears that were suddenly threatening to fall. The ache in her chest flared to a throb at the thought of her Jedi never coming back. Suddenly not trusting her legs, Neva allowed herself to sink down onto the nearest couch. Anakin had turned back to Padmé, repeating their farewell, though he surreptitiously glanced to Neva once or twice. Dread filled Neva when she noticed one of those looks. But he didn't say anything else to her. He only spoke to Padmé, begging her once again to wait for him, gently touching her cheek before he retreated to his fighter. Neva couldn't bear the tenderness in that action, and fled the Veranda.

Inside her chest, the shards of her broken heart stabbed her with every breath she took.


	5. Chapter 5

If things had felt wrong before, it was nothing to what Neva felt now. Not only did she feel hollow without knowing the fate of her Jedi, but their Galaxy had also just been abruptly and drastically changed.

She had anticipated that something was going to happen during the special session of Congress Chancellor Palpatine had called, otherwise she never would have joined the Senator. Neva rarely accompanied Padmé to the Senate; usually it was either Moteé, Ellé or Dormé who joined her. But today, she had the feeling that she needed to be there. Plus she needed something to occupy her thoughts other than tormenting herself about the danger her Jedi was in. Well, she sure got the distraction she had craved.

 _To ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire, for a safe and secure society_... While she hadn't been sitting in the Naboo Senate Pod, she had been standing just outside, and had heard every horrible, heartbreaking word, and had felt the thunderous approval from other Senators through the floor as the volume of the applause reached deafening heights.

The Chancellor—no, Emperor now—had destroyed the Democracy she had cherished in one deadly, deftly worded blow. As she listened, Neva had felt another piece of her heart shatter. In the Naboo Pod Padmé and Senator Organa mourned as the Republic they served crumbled around them. The cracks had been appearing for years, since the outset of the Clone Wars. But none of them had expected this. They all knew that the executive powers the Chancellor had been granted were going to his head, but they all had still believed that once the War was over, he could be persuaded to reverse the changes, bringing back the Democracy they all believed in.

That hope had just been crushed before their eyes.

Neva could almost feel the despair pouring off Padmé as she exited the Pod when the Chancellor had dismissed the Senate. She had barely been able to keep her own composure intact, fighting off tears as they traversed the halls of the Senate Building, keeping interactions with other Senators as minimal as possible as they tried to escape to the sanctuary of Padmé's apartments to grieve in peace.

Indeed, when they had reached the privacy of their transport, Padmé had reached out, entrapping Neva's hand in an iron grip as she began to weep silently, unable to hold in her despair any longer. It was as though all the fight had gone out of the Senator. Neva knew that that fight would not be gone for long, but right now, in that moment, the Former Queen grieved for everything she had worked so hard to preserve. Even Moteé, who sat on the other side of the Senator, had tears in her eyes. Neva found she couldn't hold back her own, either, her grip on Padmé's hand just as tight, as her own grief for the death of the Republic came, manifesting in tears that streamed down her cheeks.

It was evening when the Session had let out, so it was dark by the time they made it home. Once back to the apartment complex, Padmé and Moteé disappeared into the Senator's private chambers, but not before Padmé had gathered Neva, Moteé, Threepio and Ellé, who had stayed behind from the Senate, together for some final instructions. Her other two Handmaidens had returned to Naboo on Padmé's instructions shortly after the Battle over Coruscant had ended. The Senator's face was defiant as she spoke, her eyes lighting up with the fire that had been absent in the immediate wake of Palpatine's Declarations.

"No one is to be admitted. I will not be receiving visitors in the near future, not until the waters churned up by this fiasco had calmed a bit." She paused then, as if gauging the loyalty of those present. The Senator truly had nothing to fear on that front. Her voice lowered slightly, "That being said, should any Jedi, like Anakin, Master Kenobi or anyone else, arrive looking for aid, don't hesitate. There is something wrong here. I can't believe the Jedi are behind any plot as Palpatine claims." Her words echoed Neva's thoughts. It had been all but an inner adage for Neva ever since they left for the Senate Building that morning; something is terribly wrong.

But Palpatine's words echoed in Neva's ears, haunting her as Padmé disappeared with her handmaidens. _The remaining Jedi will be hunted down and defeated._ Even if her Jedi had escaped, Neva feared what would happen. She could not fathom a Galaxy without the Jedi, and certainly not one without her Jedi. _Any collaborators will suffer the same fate_. A spike of fear shot through her again. They were all in danger, especially considering what Padmé had just declared. But the more she thought about it, the more she came to realize that she didn't care.

This was wrong. All of it was wrong. The Jedi could never be the villains Palpatine—she could not even bear to think of him as 'Emperor'—was claiming them to be.

No. The Jedi were not the villains here. Neva was beginning to suspect the true villain was far closer to home.

* * *

Neva entered the apartment only to hear quiet voices on the Veranda. In an effort to distract herself, she had spent a fair portion of the morning out running errands for the Senator. As she drew closer, she immediately recognized Padmé's voice. It only took her a heartbeat more to recognize the other.

"Ben," she whispered. It took all her willpower not to rush forward. Not knowing if he had survived the so-called 'Jedi Rebellion' had caused the ache in her heart to press down on her harder than ever, refusing to abate. Just hearing his voice was enough to allow her to breathe freely again. It was enough that, instead of running into his arms, she was able pause just shy of the Veranda to avoid interrupting the obviously intent conversation.

"You're going to kill him, aren't you?" Padmé's voice betrayed how horrified she was at whatever it was that Obi-wan was suggesting.

"He has become a very real threat." His voice betrayed his pain. Neva knew instinctively from the tone that he was not undertaking what they were discussing lightly.

"I can't." Neva barely heard Padmé's response it was so quiet. From where she was standing, she could faintly hear him get slowly to his feet. Her heart jumped to her throat. He was leaving—she rounded the corner in an instant. He had paused near the fountain in the centre of the Veranda, looking sadly back at Padmé, who was still seated.

"Anakin's the father, isn't he," his tone meant it was not a question; somehow he knew. Padmé could only look down, heavy with resignation. Neva was stopped in her tracks. While she had known herself, and had seen their closeness with her own eyes, this was the closest to an admission she had yet encountered. Padmé had been so careful not to reveal anything to anyone but those closest to her about not only the father, but also the pregnancy itself. Things had to be very serious indeed for the Senator not to mount any sort of deflection. It was then that Obi-wan noticed her.

"Neva," his voice was little more than a sigh. A mixture of relief and sadness suffused his features as their eyes met, and this time Neva couldn't restrain herself. She knew they had agreed to forget their feelings, but that agreement had yet to stop her from loving him. She threw all caution to the wind. After all, their world was crumbling around them. What was there to be gained from denying their feelings now?

"Obi-wan," was all she managed as she rushed forward, not hesitating until she felt his arms close around her. She gasped as unbidden tears tried to escape her eyes, but she blinked them back, burying her face into his shoulder. Behind them, Padmé looked on in a mixture of confusion and shock. Evidently she had believed Neva when the former Princess maintained Obi-wan was a friend only. At one point the Senator even tried to ask what was going on, but her questions fell on deaf ears. After a moment, Obi-wan pulled back, though they still clung to each other.

"Word had been trickling since yesterday that the Jedi had openly rebelled, that most have been killed. Then Palpatine declared you all traitors, and that the Republic is now an Empire. I didn't know—I was so afraid that—" This time her tears did begin to fall, but he gently brushed them away, cupping her cheek. "What is happening, Obi-wan," she glanced over at Padmé for an instant. The Senator looked devastated, though Neva couldn't quite discern why. Then a horrible idea entered her mind. She looked back to Obi-wan, searching his eyes for answers. She reflexively raised a hand to her mouth in fear. They had been so certain he was on Palpatine's side...

"Is it Anakin? Is he—did they—" She couldn't manage to get the words out, but Obi-wan shook his head before she had to, taking her hand in his. His grip was almost uncomfortably tight, and his eyes were pools of grief. The terrible weight of anxiety once again began to press down on Neva's chest when he hesitated. The look in Anakin's eyes the other night came back to her then. Somehow she knew what Obi-wan was going to say.

"Anakin has betrayed us. Chancellor Palpatine is Darth Sidious, a Sith Lord. We were all blind, all of us. Somehow he recruited Anakin." Obi-wan's voice broke. She heard Padmé trying to hold back a sob behind her. Neva's hands fisted in Obi-wan's robes, struggling to keep what little composure she had left.

"What are you saying? Anakin turned to the Dark Side? He's a Sith?" She could barely choke out the words. None of this seemed real. It couldn't be real.

Yet, she knew it was the truth. Anakin was different; she had seen it herself. Obi-wan nodded sadly.

"He led the attack on the Temple himself. There was—there was no one left alive." He sounded so detached, so emotionless that Neva started. It was so at odds with the expression of grief in his eyes. Neva couldn't hide the horror that she felt. So many Jedi, so many younglings had been in the Temple, believing they were safe...

"He's the one Padmé meant. He's the one you need to find—and kill." He could only nod again, his warring emotions leaving him unable to speak. If anything, that was what worried Neva the most. She had never seen him broadcast his feelings like this; he was always so calm and collected, even under duress. Even when she had been shot his emotions hadn't been this out of control. She threw her arms around him again. A small wave of relief flowed through her as he slowly embraced her back, his hand tangling in her hair.

"Please, Obi-wan. Don't do this. You can't," she whispered, her anxiety coloring her voice. Obi-wan pulled away again.

"I have to. He's dangerous, Neva. He's not Anakin anymore."

"I don't care!" Her voice was beginning to rise. Behind them, Padmé rose to her feet, watching intently. "I don't care! You told me once that he's your brother, your family! There has to be another way. Talk to him! Help him understand what's at stake, what he's done. But you can't kill him! If you go after him, even if you succeed in killing him, it will destroy you!" This time she angrily fought back at the tears that threatened to run down her face. It was then that she saw something in his eyes, something deeper than despair. Her own eyes widened in renewed horror.

"You don't think you can. You don't think you can beat him. You don't expect to return." Obi-wan looked at her plaintively.

"I don't have a choice, Neva. If it takes everything I have, I have to try and stop him." Neva's legs threatened to go out from under her as he spoke. She didn't allow herself to stop though. She had to make him understand. Her thoughts were racing.

"What about Padmé, and their baby? What will become of them if you fail? If you succeed? That child is going to need you, your knowledge, your protection." He pulled away, moving toward his fighter. Neva was desperate. "Ben, please!" She could no longer hold back a sob from escaping her lips. He paused when she uttered her old name for him, though he didn't turn.

"What about me?" Her voice had dropped to little more than a whisper. He sighed, his shoulders falling at the pain in her voice. She pressed on, "I don't know what I'd do without you." He looked back to her, his eyes full of sorrow, but it didn't stop her. The floodgates had opened. "I know we agreed to put whatever it was we had behind us, but I can't. I love you, Obi-wan Kenobi, Jedi or not." He closed his eyes for a moment, visibly struggling with himself. Neva took a tentative step toward him. She didn't really have to, though. In the moment it took her to step forward, he was once again at her side, pulling her into his embrace. She inhaled deeply as she pressed closer to him, ignoring the lingering acrid odour from the burning Temple and focusing instead on his familiar scent.

"I know, Neva. I know," his voice was low and quiet, soothing her frazzled nerves as he stoked her hair. "Neither can I." She pulled back, looking to see if there was any uncertainty in what he said. All she saw were her own feelings reflected back at her through his eyes. He pulled away after a moment, hesitating to let go of her hand as he began to walk toward his ship. She followed, not allowing the contact to be broken just yet. Before he got in though, he turned back to her, glancing back for an instant to where Padmé had stood only a moment before. She had gone, retreated further into the apartments. When he spoke, his words came out hushed and quick.

"You have to get off the Capital. It's not safe here anymore. Go to Senator Organa. Tell him I sent you. He will take you with him to Alderaan. From there you can either return to Naboo or—" She didn't let him finish.

"No, I'm waiting for you."

"Neva please—"

"I'm not going—"

"Palpatine knows about Padmé, he has to. It has to be how he turned Anakin, by promising something, or threatening. You are in danger here, just as she is." Neva frowned, glancing back toward where Padmé had been standing.

"She'll never agree to leave. Not now. Not without knowing—"

"I'm not worried about Padmé. She's strong and can take care of herself. And Palpatine won't make a move against her, not if he wants to keep Anakin's loyalty. I want you to be safe. I need to know you're safe." There was a fragility about him as he all but choked out those last words. Part of her wanted to argue, to remind him that she could take care of herself too, but Neva couldn't refuse him. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Leaning forward, she placed a chaste kiss on his lips, sealing her unspoken promise. He didn't let her pull away too soon, pulling her back in to place a far more urgent kiss on her lips.

It had to end, though. All too soon, he pulled away for a final time, pulling his hood up to shield his face as he moved to climb aboard his fighter. Reluctantly, Neva let go of his hand. As the fighter came to life, Neva's voice was almost lost in the dull roar of the engine. But that didn't stop Obi-wan from hearing her.

"Come back to me, Ben. You have to come back." A faint smile came to his lips as he nodded once.

Then he was gone, and she was left alone on the Veranda.


	6. Chapter 6

Even long after his ship had disappeared from sight, Neva stood on the Veranda, deep in thought as she looked out over the Capital. It was only when she heard Padmé approach that she pulled herself from her musings. Padmé had changed into a pair of cream pants and a light tan tunic complete with supportive belt and functional boots, obviously prepared for travel. Normally Neva would have been curious about what the Senator was up to, but she found that curiosity strangely absent. Padmé just stood, watching the Former Princess, meeting her gaze. Neva sighed heavily, breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry, Padmé, that I didn't tell you," Neva had paused, her hazel eyes shifting back to look out among the glittering spires and rushing speeders, "but I think you, of all people, can understand why I kept my silence." It was a long moment before Padmé responded, obviously weighing her words carefully.

"You love him," she said slowly, stating it rather than asking. There was no censure, just sympathy. Neva closed her eyes, commanding the threatening tears not to fall. She was still wearing the dark cloak she had worn for her errands. She pulled it tighter around herself, hugging herself close.

"Yes."

"Is it serious?" Neva turned her gaze back to the Senator, studying her for a moment.

"Not so serious as what you have with Anakin. Not nearly." Padmé blushed when Neva spoke, but she didn't lower her gaze in embarrassment. That gave Neva a small measure of comfort for some reason, though she couldn't explain why. "We spent a great deal of time together on Naboo before the Election. After I was—injured, our feelings for each other came out. While we have never denied their existence, we decided together that to act upon them would be wrong. He was a Jedi, I was still torn over whether or not to accept the Throne. And no matter how much we wanted to be together, we both knew we couldn't have a future, not with the vows and commitments we had already made. But our feelings never diminished. I have never stopped loving him." As she trailed off, Neva couldn't help but notice Padmé looking away, unable to keep the Former Princess's gaze. Neva frowned, but before she could question the shame written on Padmé's face the Senator looked up, struggling to put her thoughts into words.

"I said the same thing to Anakin once; that as a Jedi and a Senator we couldn't have a real future. It would destroy us, I said. But we decided that wasn't enough. What we felt was too strong to fight, and too precious to deny." Tears appeared in Padmé's eyes when she paused, and she almost wasn't able to continue. But she found her voice after a moment, though it was thick with emotion. "Now, I'm not so sure. His fear for me, for our baby; that has to be what's driven him to this. He was always talking about finding a way to save us, to save me from dying in childbirth. I'm scared that Anakin has been twisted, that the man I married isn't the man I fell in love with anymore." Neva's eyes widened in shock at Padmé's admission.

"Married?!" Neva didn't intend to let the exclamation slip, but she was so caught off guard by the revelation that she couldn't help it. Padmé nodded absently. They stood in silence for a moment, each one deep in thought. Neva turned, moving closer to her friend. She didn't presume to reach out to her, though. They both knew that the men they each loved were now enemies, and that one was very likely to cause the death of the other. It created a chasm between them that their friendship couldn't quite bridge.

"You're going after him, aren't you?" A flash of panic surfaced in Padmé's dark eyes at the former Princess' statement, but Neva continued before she could object. "I'm not going to run off and tell Obi-wan, Padmé, no matter how much I might be tempted. I know, just as you do, that when they face each other, only one is going to walk away from that fight. And we all know, Obi-wan included, that Anakin is the more powerful. We both know the odds." Sympathy spread across Padmé's features, but she knew better than to say anything, and for that Neva was thankful. One thing gnawed at her though, one thing she didn't quite understand. "But why?" At Neva's question, Padmé took a deep breath. She knew exactly what the former Princess meant. Neva saw it in her face that she wasn't entirely sure why she was going herself.

"He asked me to wait. But after what Obi-wan said... I have to know. I have to see his face when I ask him what he's done. I need to help him realize this is not the answer. I have to. For our sake, and this baby's," her hands came up to her belly, cradling the unborn child within her. There was a desperation and a faint but determined hope in her voice that broke Neva's heart. There was also a sad recognition, like part of her already knew there was nothing she could do. This time Neva did reach out, taking Padmé's hands in her own.

"If anyone has a chance to—to make him understand, it's going to be you, Padmé." A faint, hopeful smile came to her face before the Senator began to move away. As Padmé began to retreat from the Veranda, one of Neva's tears finally managed to escape and slowly made its way down her cheek.

"I'm leaving Coruscant, Padmé," the Senator turned from where she stood in the archway that led inside, pausing when she heard Neva's voice, "I can't stay here anymore. There's nothing left for me here. I—" She couldn't bring herself to finish.

"Will you go back to Naboo?" Neva thought for a moment.

"I don't know. Most likely."

"I'm sorry, Neva." There was nothing left to say. With that, Padmé left Neva alone on the Veranda.

After another moment looking out at the City, Neva turned one last time, slowly making her way across the terrace. Pausing at the same archway Padmé had, Neva turned to look out at the Veranda one last time. It really was a beautiful view, but not the kind of beautiful she longed for. Sighing sadly, Neva decided it was time to go, and disappeared into the depths of the Apartment herself.

* * *

She had done exactly as he asked. Even now she sat, waiting, in one of the Passenger Quarters of the _Tantive IV_ as Organa's ship waited for—well, something. She didn't know what. Alderaan's Senator had said he had one more task to complete before they could depart, but that it wouldn't take long.

She had arrived at the Senator's Coruscant Residence with her few belongings only to be initially turned away. It seemed that Organa had enacted similar orders as Padmé, restricting all visitors asking to see the Senator. But as soon as she had mentioned the name of her Jedi, she had been invited inside at once. She had been taken directly to Senator Organa from there and then left alone with him.

"Lady Amalia," he had said, not bothering to hide his confusion at her presence, especially as she was still holding onto her possessions, "to what do I owe the pleasure—" she had held up a hand then, interrupting him.

"I think we both know that had I been here on Senate business, I would not have made it through the front door. I am here on Jedi business, Senator, of a sort." His face had gone deadly serious then, and he sat forward in his seat, waiting for her to explain. It took her a moment to decide how much to reveal, but eventually, she had decided that she had little left to lose.

"I am here because Obi-wan asked me to come to you for help," she had hesitated when Organa started at the intimate way she referred to her Jedi, obviously not expecting that, "He asked that I leave the Capital, and is concerned that my—attachment to him puts me in danger. He said that I could trust you to help me, as I suspect you have helped him already."

"You have an attachment with Master Kenobi? I was under the impression that the Jedi forswore—" again she had interrupted him, feeling horrible for ignoring her manners so purposefully.

"It's not the kind of relationship you think. It is an emotional bond only. Nothing more developed between us. Our commitments saw to that." He had nodded.

"I understand, Milady. Of course, you will have my assistance to get to wherever it is you wish to go. Do not fear; you are safe with us." She had thought herself calm up until that point, but his genuine assurance that she was among those she could trust and that she was about to leave the Capital lifted a huge weight off her shoulders, and before she could stop herself, she had sunk back into the cushions of her seat in relief and exhaustion. It was uncharacteristic of her to fall out of her political persona around acquaintances, and it was obvious that it had taken Organa by surprise. Concern had sprung to the Senator's face, and in a moment he had joined her on the couch where she was sitting, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder. She had straightened immediately, embarrassed by her lack of control. She had begun to apologize, but he had been the one to interrupt then.

"I can only imagine that this has been a trying few days. You must be exhausted and dreadfully worried for Master Kenobi," he had held up his hand when she had tried to defend herself, "do not try to deny it, I can see it in your face. And I saw your reaction in the Senate yesterday; Palpatine's actions are—well, there is nothing we can do for the time being. Please," he stood, pulling her to her feet along with him, "you are welcome to one of the guest chambers here. I will send someone to take you to my ship after we decide when to depart, but until then, I insist you take some time to rest." There had been no way she could adequately convey her gratitude, and Organa had insisted such expressions were unnecessary.

He had been right, though; she was exhausted, emotionally and physically. She hadn't truly slept since the night the Temple was attacked. Plus with everything that had happened since...the respite Organa had offered was precisely what Neva had needed to keep going. It had been hard to relax, even a little at first, but eventually she had drifted off into a light sleep. She had been woken a short time later by one of Organa's aides and informed that, once he returned from this last errand, they would be departing Coruscant. In next to no time at all, she was settled aboard the _Tantive IV_ , waiting impatiently for Organa to return.

As the time passed, she found herself getting frustrated. Somewhere, Obi-wan was trying to find Anakin, maybe already had, and was intent on trying to destroy him. What was Neva doing? Sitting. Waiting. She was beginning to go a little stir-crazy. In an attempt to distract herself, she exited her quarters, contenting herself to locating the ship's common area. After some wandering and the assistance of a couple obliging crewmembers, she eventually found her way to the Common Room. It wasn't really the wisest of plans, though, for almost as soon as she found the room, she found herself getting anxious again. So, she settled for pacing, hoping that, if it didn't burn off some of her impatience, it would at least let her work off some nervous energy.

So she paced, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, watching the undulations of the dark blue fabric of her skirts that moved in time with her feet. Her mind was whirring, mostly with worry, but she tried desperately to keep herself from dwelling on things like Obi-wan's safety, Padmé's mission, the formation of Palpatine's new Empire, the end of the war or even Organa's apparent lateness. There was nothing she could do about any of it, so for now, she just went from one end of the room to the other, her long braid drumming rhythmically against her back.

Thankfully, it wasn't too much longer before her pacing was interrupted by Organa's much anticipated arrival. He wasn't alone, though, and his companion's identity surprised Neva.

"Master Yoda," she couldn't help but exclaim when she caught sight of the diminutive Jedi at the Senator's side. A frown appeared on the Jedi Master's face for a split second when she spotted him, but it was gone in an instant, replaced with the mild expression she was used to, though there was a distinctly sad cast to his wizened features this time. Neva had only encountered the Jedi once or twice, and always as part of Padmé's entourage. Organa quietly cleared his throat before introducing Neva, as she had never been formally introduced to the Jedi before. As she gave her condolences to the Jedi, Neva couldn't help but wonder just what the Senator had told him about her presence there, and what the Jedi made of it if he had. If the concerned and wary look in those big brown eyes was anything to go by, he knew, and he was not impressed. At this moment, though, Neva really didn't care. What did it matter that she and Obi-wan had feelings for each other. It hadn't interfered with either of their responsibilities; they were both too dedicated and professional for that, save the last few days on her part, of course.

So when Senator Organa revealed that they were headed to Polis Massa where, hopefully, they would rendezvous with Obi-wan, hope surged within Neva along with relief. Finally, the waiting was over. But just as she was glad that the waiting was done, her apprehension began to return. She still didn't know what fate had befallen her Jedi. Part of her insisted that she would know if something had happened, if something went wrong.

But the rest of her knew that she wouldn't know. She had no idea if he had found Anakin, or if he was still alive. As much as she fought to avoid the thought, she couldn't shake the image of him lying—no. She refused to think that. He had promised he would come back to her.

He had to. She didn't know what she would do if he didn't.


	7. Chapter 7

If she thought that departing the Capital for Polis Massa would put an end to her waiting, Neva had been wrong. There was still little to do but wait. This time, though, instead of waiting in the Common Area of the _Tantive IV_ , she was waiting in one of the Common Rooms of the primary portion of Polis Massa's many research bases.

Thankfully she was not alone. Senator Organa waited with her and, through all forms of small talk, they managed to pass the time in relative ease. They talked of all sorts of little things, mostly lightly comparing Naboo and Alderaan, but they also talked of their educations, political pasts and family. They consciously stayed away from heavier topics, thankfully avoiding talk of Palpatine's reforms or the abrupt end to the war that had all but consumed their lives. She was desperate for word from Obi-wan, and was immensely grateful for the distraction of the Alderaanian Senator's company.

Master Yoda sat with them for a short time, but ultimately retreated to meditate and reflect. Neva couldn't say she minded, though. She had a great deal of respect for the diminutive Jedi, but the way he had taken to looking at her made her uncomfortable. It wasn't too much of a stretch to assume it was thanks to her feelings for Obi-wan and his for her.

The waiting finally ended when one of Organa's crewmembers all but burst into the Common Area, an anxious look on his face. A flash of fear shot through Neva as Organa jumped to his feet, ordering the officer to deliver his message.

"Master Obi-wan Kenobi has made contact, Sir. He is inbound, having just passed the Outer Markers of Polis Massa Space." Nothing could have prepared Neva for the overwhelming feeling of relief that surged through her the instant the officer had spoken her Jedi's name. It was so overpowering that she started to shake, her hands trembling violently. Once the officer was out of sight, Organa sagged in relief, leaning back into the chair he re-occupied. Neva couldn't help but burst into tears, shocking not only Organa, but herself as well. She had been fighting so hard against the pervading thought that her Jedi was never going to come back that hearing he was on his way shattered any semblance of control she had.

Almost immediately Organa was at her side, concern written all over his face. Desperately trying to get herself under control, Neva tried to assure him that she was alright, but she couldn't quite get the words out, settling for trying to wave him away instead. That didn't work either. It was several moments before the former Princess was able to reign in her emotions sufficiently to assure Organa that it was just nerves that prompted her outburst.

"Are you sure you are quite well?" A watery smile came to Neva's face. With each passing moment she could feel the pressure of her fear easing a little more, only to be replaced with an anxious wish for her Jedi to arrive quickly.

"He is alive, so I am very well. I have been doing nothing but fighting off the dread that I was never going to see him again. Believe me, Senator Organa, I have not been so well in a long time." He did not seem convinced, but he let the matter rest, a measure of understanding present in his lingering expression of concern.

"Very well. I shall give you a few moments to yourself, then, for I must inform Master Yoda." Neva sat tall as she nodded in understanding, not moving to wipe away her tears until Organa had left the Common Room. It was all she could do not to burst into tears again. She had been telling the truth when she had said it was relief that had caused her outburst. The fear that Obi-wan would not survive his encounter with Anakin had been paralyzing, and it had only been thanks to the Senator's company that she was able to keep that fear in check. That her Jedi would be killed had been a very real possibility. She hadn't been exaggerating to Padmé about that. She had been doing her best not to dwell on the potential outcome of Obi-wan's fight, but it had been one of the hardest things she had ever done.

But he was alive. Words could not even begin to describe the relief that was coursing through her at that moment. It was enough to turn her limbs to rubber and all but destroy all her self-control. She was sure that if she was to try and stand, her legs would not support her; that was how weak her relief was making her feel.

The feeling of weakness didn't last long though. After a few moments of allowing the reality that Obi-wan was on his way to sink in, Neva couldn't sit still any longer. She had to be up and moving. The overwhelming need to be on the landing pad when he arrived overtook her and almost immediately she was on her feet. Thankfully it did not take long to find out where Obi-wan had been directed to land, though it took several frustrating wrong turns and wasted minutes of back-tracking before she found herself looking out on the waiting landing pad.

The pad itself was empty for the moment, and apparently she wasn't the only one who was anxious to greet the inbound Jedi. Shortly after she arrived, Organa appeared as well. Neither of them said a word, exchanging a glance only as both of them were intent watching for the approaching Jedi. After a moment, she glanced at him again, noticing this time that Organa's face was pale and drawn. Something was off. But by the time she had noticed and started to say something, a brief warning sounded before the ground vibrated gently, signalling that the energy field that controlled the landing pad's pressurization had momentarily disengaged.

Neva's heart leapt to her throat the instant she saw the ship. It was Padmé's.

It was then that her anticipation turned to dread.

The instant the energy field had reengaged she was following Organa onto the landing pad. As she and the Senator all but ran toward the gleaming ship, Obi-wan was descending the ramp with an unconscious Padmé in his arms. Neva all but froze as she approached, but that didn't stop her from laying a hand on Obi-wan's arm, mostly to reassure herself that he was, in fact, there in front of her. He spared her a quick glance, and she was relieved to notice he was thankful to see her.

Obi-wan looked like he had been through hell. His robes were singed and stained, and his eyes bore a pain that she had never seen before. He looked older than she had ever seen him, his face marked by the betrayal and grief that fuelled that pain. But in his arms, Padmé looked worse. She was deathly pale and didn't even react when Bail lightly touched her arm. Neva could barely take her eyes off the Naboo Senator. Organa was far less shocked than Neva, though no less worried when he saw the state that the Naboo Senator was in. He looked like he had been expecting this.

"We'll take her to the Medical Centre, quickly." The Alderaanian Senator immediately turned on his heel and began leading the way, followed closely by Obi-wan. Neva had no choice but to follow, her heart pounding in fear at the state her friend was in. She couldn't even fathom what had happened.

Thankfully the Medical Centre wasn't too far away, and there were medical droids ready and waiting when they got there. Neva was a little surprised at first but then realized that Obi-wan had probably indicated that it was going to be necessary when he had first made contact. One of the orderly droids motioned the Jedi and his charge into the Operating Chamber, but effectively barred the former Princess and the Alderaanian Prince from entering themselves. So Neva and Organa contented themselves to watch from the other side of the observation windows. Before he had even laid her on the table, the Polis Massa medics and medical droids were all but swarming Obi-wan as they began to examine Padmé. Neva's Jedi gently laid the Former Queen out on the table, careful not to jostle her too much. The instant she was out of his arms the droids surrounded her, and one of them proceeded to herd Obi-wan out of the room.

The instant he was on her side of the plexi, Neva was in his arms. She wasn't sure who had reached out first or who had surged forward, all she knew was that one second he was walking through the door, and the next he holding onto her as tightly as she was clinging to him. Neither of them said anything, satisfied just to hold on for the moment. Beside them, Neva caught a glimpse of Organa excusing himself, giving them a moment alone while he went to fetch Master Yoda.

After a minute of just holding him, Neva pulled away a little before tugging him off toward one of the other chambers just down the hall. There was a single droid occupying the room who was more than happy to take a quick look at Obi-wan. He protested weakly, but submitted himself to a quick exam anyway. It worried Neva. He was obviously in a state of shock. Really, she figured she shouldn't be terribly surprised, but it still concerned her.

Once the droid finished its examination, declaring that he was in fair health, save a few minor cuts and scrapes, Neva dismissed it, turning her attention to Obi-wan as he sat on the examination table. Since that first glance on the landing platform, he hadn't properly looked her in the eye. Standing in front of him, she laid a hand on his arm before reaching out and turning his face to look at her.

She couldn't imagine what had happened between him and Anakin; they had obviously fought, so she didn't even need to ask that. But she couldn't quite bring herself to mention Skywalker, or ask about what happened to him. Instead she settled on showing as much of her sympathy, concern and love for him on her face as she could, letting all her political masks and emotional defenses fall away as she stood before him. She knew instinctively as his face softened that she had given him what he needed by not saying anything, and that there was really nothing she could say. He and Anakin had fought, and Anakin lost. It was written all over her Jedi's face and it was tearing him up inside. He would open up and talk about it in his own time, she concluded, looking into his face. Right now he just needed to know she was there.

As if answering her thoughts, he reached out, his arms snaking around her waist to pull her close as he buried his face in her shoulder. It was all she could do not to start crying at how vulnerable he seemed in that instant. It hurt her to see him like this. Her left arm wrapped itself instinctively around his shoulders while her right hand found its way to his hair, gently stroking it as the tension in his body began to ease. She could tell by the way he trembled that he was struggling to keep his feelings in check.

They stayed that way for a long time, Neva standing in front of her seated Jedi, holding him as he tried to bring his usually well-disciplined emotions back under control. It was as if they were apart from everything in that chamber. Eventually his shoulders relaxed under her arms and the trembling stopped, and she could almost feel the calm he got from his connection to the Force returning to him. Now, though, it seemed more like resignation than any sort of tranquility.

He pulled away after a moment, seeming more himself than he had in days, though neither one of them let go of the other. Instead he just looked at her. It was an intense gaze, as though he was trying to memorize her features. She understood the feeling. Her hand moved to cup his face, her thumb stroking as if trying to smooth away the lines deepened by the last few days. He responded by pulling her close again and laying a gentle kiss against her lips, lingering for a moment before pulling back to rest his forehead against hers.

"Thank you," he whispered. They were the first words she had heard him say since seeing him descend the ramp of Padmé's yacht. A faint smile came to Neva's lips, but before she could say anything in return, they were interrupted by a quiet tapping on the plexi behind them. Turning, they both noticed Senator Organa gesturing for them to meet him out in the corridor. Both the Jedi and the former Princess took a deep bracing breath before obliging, neither one ready to face reality quite yet.

Master Yoda and Senator Organa were standing outside the Operating Chamber Padmé was in when Neva and Obi-wan approached, watching the droids and Polis Massa medics work. Organa looked up for a moment, nodding briefly in greeting before turning his attention back to where Naboo's Senator lay.

Padmé was a small woman, but her fiery personality had always made her seem larger than life. It nearly brought tears to Neva's eyes seeing her friend looking so small and helpless on that table. Beside her, Obi-wan must have noticed Neva's reaction, because he reached out to take her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She spared him a glance, a ghost of a smile reaching her lips in thanks, but that smile was soon wiped away as one of the droids broke away from the table.

It waited to address them until the door slid shut behind it. The four concerned onlookers waited with baited breath for the soft-spoken droid to deliver its prognosis.

"Medically, she is completely healthy. For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her." Neva couldn't hold back her gasp of shock. Beside her Obi-wan paled, while beyond him Yoda's ear drooped, betraying the wizened Jedi's dismay.

"She's dying?" Obi-wan's voice betrayed his shock as well, voicing what they were all thinking. The tears Neva had been fighting once again threatened to fall. She looked back to Padmé, not believing what she had just heard. The droid nodded, its face strangely empathetic for a droid.

"We don't know why. She has lost the will to live," the droid hesitated for a moment before continuing, "We need to operate quickly if we are to save the babies." Neva's gaze shot back to the droid before flying to meet Obi-wan's equally startled gaze. None of them made a sound at first, each likely wondering if they had misheard; Neva certainly did. Senator Organa was the first to regain his voice this time.

"Babies?" The droid nodded.

"She's carrying twins." Without thinking, Neva stepped away from the others, walking up to the window to stare at the readouts projected over Padmé's prone body. Her fingers reached out, resting on the plexi as she struggled to process everything the droid had just said.

Padmé, her strong, determined friend, had seemingly decided not to fight, and was about to leave behind her two— _two_ —tiny babies. She was still too shocked to react further. Obi-wan quietly came up behind her, a gentle hand coming to rest on her shoulder as he too looked thoughtfully in at their friend. Behind them, Yoda turned to the droid, his quiet voice immensely sad.

"Save them, we must. They are our last hope." As the diminutive Jedi spoke, her tears finally began to fall. Unable to stand it anymore, she turned, burying her face in Obi-wan's chest as she struggled to staunch the flow of tears. Even the feel of his arms coming up to hold her did nothing to lessen the heartache.

She couldn't believe this was happening. She just couldn't.


	8. Chapter 8

Grief coursed through Neva as the _Tantive IV_ hurtled through hyperspace toward Naboo. No, not just grief; anger. She was angry, though she supposed that was only natural.

Padmé, her friend, had just given up. She had delivered two healthy children, a little boy and girl, and she wasn't even going to fight to stay with them. Even knowing that the Senator had been betrayed by the man she loved and had watched as everything she had believed in and devoted her life to crumble around her, Neva just couldn't understand it. She knew Padmé, and Padmé was a fighter. Even after the Clone Wars started and the democracy she loved got pushed further and further aside, Padmé Amidala never gave up, always pushing, always fighting for what she believed in. After all, she was the definitive Naboo citizen and there were two things that the Naboo as a people held up above all else; democracy and family. There was little—no—there was nothing more important than family, and Neva knew Padmé believed that with every fibre of her being just as almost every other citizen of Naboo did. She couldn't believe Padmé would just abandon her children like that, no matter the heartbreak she had suffered at the hands of her soulmate.

But Neva had been there when Padmé delivered her children. She had sat with her friend and begged her not to give up while Obi-wan did the same. The former Princess had been holding her hand when the Senator looked into the faces of her babies and named them. There was no doubting the love that was in the Former Queen's eyes as she saw her son and daughter for the first time. And then she had just faded. It was as if she had been fighting to hold on only long enough to deliver them safely.

"Obi-Wan," she had barely been able to speak she had gotten so weak, "there is good in him. I know... I know there is... still..." she had barely been able to keep her eyes open, but she had fixed Obi-wan with a powerful gaze nonetheless.

It was then that Neva had started to get mad. It was an anger born of grief, and Neva couldn't quite hold it in, not when she was holding Padmé's tiny daughter in her arms. She needed to at least try to make Padmé understand. She had all but bolted around the table, practically pushing her way into Padmé's line of sight. The former Princess could see her friend's eyes beginning to dim, but that only made her more desperate.

"Don't do this," she had pleaded, "Don't leave your babies alone. You can't let go, Padmé, please. Listen to me." There was a flicker in those brown eyes, and Neva latched onto it. She had reached out, then, grabbing the Senator's cold hand. "They need you. Please, don't give up like this." she had choked on the last words, barely able to hold back her grief as her anger bled into her voice. But, with a soft, sad sigh, Padmé had closed her eyes, her body going limp. Neva had choked back a sob, looking down to the tiny baby she held in her arms. Leia, Padmé had named her. It was a beautiful name.

It was then that one of the medical droids had approached, monitoring the faint readout that lingered.

She was still alive. Barely. Padmé had slipped into a coma. A faint flutter of hope had surfaced in Neva then. Perhaps they could keep her alive long enough for the woman she knew to surface from the despair and fight back. It was a faint hope; a small persistent one that the former Princess was desperate to cling to. Neva and Obi-wan had been led from the room by the midwife droid to a different chamber where the twins could be better cared for. Not long after, Obi-wan had been asked to join Yoda and Organa to discuss something. Neva had offered to stay behind with the babies, watching over them and helping the midwife droid care for them. It hadn't been long before Obi-wan returned with news that as soon as the babies were permitted to leave, they would be departing Polis Massa.

"To where?" Neva had asked, suddenly unsure if she wanted to know the answer. Obi-wan hesitated himself, obviously weighing how to tell her. He eventually opted to be direct.

"To Naboo, for Padmé's funeral." Tears sprang to Neva's eyes and it had suddenly become hard to breathe. She had been holding Luke then, and she hadn't been able to help looking to his sleeping face as she tried to process what Obi-wan had said. In an instant he was in front of her, his hands coming up to rest on her upper arms. There was a peculiar expression on his face that jolted Neva out of her grief. Thankfully, he had begun explaining before she could react anymore.

"She's still alive, for the moment. The Polis Massa medics have little hope though. But Master Yoda, Senator Organa and I have come to the decision that it will be safer for the children, and her if she ultimately survives, if everyone believes she has died, especially Ana—Darth Vader and the Emperor." Neva noticed his stumble at the mention of his former apprentice, but she had chosen to ignore it that time. She had been far more concerned about what Obi-wan was proposing.

"What will happen to her, then? What about the babies?" Obi-wan had sighed heavily.

"We haven't discussed the fate of the babies yet, but Bail knows of a small facility on Alderaan that is loyal to his family that can care for her until either she recovers or—" even he couldn't bring himself to say it. "But we aren't very familiar with Naboo or its customs, so we are admittedly at a loss about how to proceed. If you are willing, Master Yoda and Senator Organa have asked for your assistance in deciding on our next steps." It had felt like her heart was about to stop at the thought of essentially helping, even conspiring, to plan Padmé's funeral, and once again her breath had caught. But Neva had refused to cry anymore, and had forcefully pushed her welling grief aside.

"Very well," she practically whispered, her voice not quite obeying her resolve not to dwell on her grief anymore, or at hiding her discomfort at the whole idea, "I will." She wasn't happy about it, knowing that Amidala's 'death' was going to devastate Naboo and Padmé's family.

But she couldn't deny the logic. Padmé's babies were too precious, and Neva had come to realize she had grown to love them enough that she was willing to do just about anything to ensure their safety.

Having left the babies in the care of the Polis Massa medics for the time being, Obi-wan had led Neva back to the conference he had been in with Yoda and Organa, explaining that her knowledge of Naboo tradition and custom would be helpful in ironing out how to successfully convince everyone that Padmé and her unborn child were dead.

They had been in conference for several hours after that, discussing every little detail. Neva explained how Padmé would be expected to lie in state, and how there would almost certainly be a Public Mourning Procession organized to let the System mourn her together. She recommended bringing in at least one of Padmé's handmaidens to help mediate, and so on. Thankfully for them, investigation into her personal life—and thus any search for the identity of the father of her child—was essentially unthinkable on Naboo, adding an extra level of protection for her children.

It was exhausting for the former Princess, and by the time Organa, Obi-wan and Yoda were satisfied, Neva wanted nothing more than to run and hide somewhere, leaving all the morbid talk behind her. She hadn't even waited for Obi-wan when they decided there was nothing more to discuss, leaving the room almost immediately. But instead of making her way back to her temporary quarters, like she had planned, she had found herself standing in front of the window to the room where the babies were being cared for.

It was there that Obi-wan found her not long after. They just held each other for a while, then, watching the Skywalker twins sleep. Eventually one of the Medical Droids arrived and examined the babies before declaring that they would be strong enough to leave in another day or two. They were lucky, it had said. They were just old enough that even though they were born early they were quite healthy and obviously very strong-willed. Neither Neva nor Obi-wan had been terribly surprised, though. Their parents had been strong too.

In the meantime, Senator Organa had discreetly contacted Sabé and Dormé, Padmé's closest Handmaidens, to enlist their help. It did not take them long to arrive on Polis Massa with Ellé and Moteé. They were told of Padmé's condition and the plan to keep her safe by allowing the Galaxy to believe she had died. Neva wasn't included on the planning of the final details, like falsifying autopsy records, hiding the medical equipment monitoring her condition through the procession and so on. Truthfully she didn't care about anything beyond keeping Padmé and her babies safe. She wasn't even present when the handmaidens departed for Naboo with Padmé's comatose form and a meticulously constructed story aboard Padmé's carefully memory-wiped ship. The handmaidens didn't even know Neva had been on Polis Massa, and neither did they see, or know about, the twins, being told only that Padmé's child was safe and hidden.

It had been another two days before the newborns had been declared strong enough to travel, and the _Tantive IV_ ready to depart for Naboo. As a former Princess alone, Neva was all but expected to attend, plus she had been employed by Padmé and had counted the Senator as a friend. Since he had been a colleague as well as close friend of Padmé's, Organa had received an invitation to attend the Funeral. So making the journey to Naboo was something that they all felt compelled to do. After lift-off, though, Neva's restlessness got the better of her. All the deception was getting to her, as was Padmé's condition.

It was because of that that she made her way to one of the forward Common Areas. She needed someplace to think, and the common area she occupied was the only one that had been completely empty. That was a good thing, for she was in no mood to be social. She had ordered herself not to dwell too much in her grief, so instead, her anger at the whole situation had been allowed to surface. But that wasn't healthy either. She could feel the bitterness born of her anger slowly beginning to eat her up inside. But that seemed the only other choice she had. She knew she couldn't bear the crushing grief that would take over if she let the anger dim, even though she knew she had to. She was so caught up in her internal emotional battle that she didn't even notice Obi-wan enter, jumping when he laid a hand on her shoulder.

And for the first time since he left to begin his hunt for Anakin, when she turned to look at him, everything felt better. The swells of grief threatening to strangle her abated a little and the helpless anger she had been fighting began to cool. It was comforting and familiar how his presence seemed to calm her. A faint grin came to his lips as she visibly relaxed, the tension that had all but seized her body dissipating as he wrapped her in an embrace. Sighing, she returned the hug, her own arms coming to wrap around his waist. The grief wasn't gone, and neither was the anger, but it was far more manageable now, and for the first time in hours she felt like she could think clearly.

* * *

Never had Neva felt more emotionally drained than after Padmé's funeral. Even knowing that Padmé was still alive as she was drawn toward the tomb she was to be (temporarily) placed in, it had been one of the worst experiences of the former Princess's life.

State Funerals were meant to allow the citizens to grieve and find some measure of peace and closure as one. Normally that worked. But not this time.

There was a deeply unsettling undercurrent to the procession. Arguably no monarch had ever been so well loved or respected as Padmé Amidala, and because of that almost everyone felt her tragic and untimely death on a personal level that was unmatched for a former monarch.

But no one knew what to believe or how to take the death of their beloved Queen. Rumour swirled that the Jedi had killed her, that the Emperor had conspired to have her killed, and even that she couldn't bear the death of the Republic as she had known it and had taken her own life, plus many more. Theories abounded, getting crazier and stranger as they spread. Thankfully none had quite come near the truth. That was a relief, at least. How she had died was also a great source of unease, as there was no officially announced cause. As was her mysterious pregnancy, which hadn't been widely know but had been prominently displayed during the funereal traditions as a further means to protect the twins.

But one thing no one questioned; that Padmé Amidala had died. The Handmaidens had done their job well and no one questioned that fact. Even Neva had a hard time believing that Padmé was alive after seeing the procession begin its march. She had walked among the mourners that had once held a royal office, a short way behind the current Queen, Apailana. Other former Princesses walked around her, and not far away she noticed Jamillia walking among those grieving for Padmé. Though she had vowed not to let her personal grief take hold anymore, the strength of the grief from Amidala's people made it impossible to hold her resolve. So she grieved with them, even though she wasn't quite grieving for the same thing.

It ended up being strangely cathartic, more so than she expected. She was able to let go of her anger at the way Padmé had all but given up and her anger at Palpatine and his manipulations. Obi-wan had finally explained, as he understood it, what had transpired to lead the Galaxy to where it was, and it had nearly broken Neva's heart. Palpatine was from Naboo, her home, and he was the source of the grief and cruelty that had torn their galaxy and all their lives apart. She was also able to grieve properly for the end of so much that she had known and taken for granted about their Galaxy, like the very existence of the Republic or the presence of the Jedi. It was over, and there was nothing more to be done for the time being. Sure, she knew deep down that there were those who would not give up without a fight, but now was not the time.

She also grieved for Padmé's babies. She knew that Obi-wan, Bail and Yoda had decided their fate shortly before they had arrived on Naboo, but she hadn't been told what that fate would be. What she did know was that they were likely never going to know their mother, either in person or even that they were her children, and hopefully—she hated herself for thinking it, despite the truth of the thought—that they would never meet their father. She also knew that they would grow up away from Naboo, the planet that their mother loved. She hadn't been told that, but it was common sense; they couldn't stay on their mother's Home Planet. It would be too dangerous. No, they would never call Naboo home, and to Neva that was almost as tragic as the thought of them losing their parents.

So, by the time she had made it back onto the _Tantive IV_ , she was so emotionally drained that she barely remembered returning to her quarters, letting her hair loose, shedding the deep purple funeral robes she had been wearing, and crawling into bed. A great weight had been lifted from her shoulders. In letting go of her grief and anger, she finally felt like she could move on from this dark point in her life. Despite everything that had happened, she did have a future ahead of her, and she was determined that Obi-wan was going to be a part of it. That singular hope seeped into her thoughts as she drifted off to sleep.

She was so exhausted that she didn't even notice Obi-wan entering the room until his arms were around her, drawing her into his comforting embrace. With a sigh, Neva burrowed deeper into his embrace, and allowed her exhaustion to overtake her.

It was the first time she had gotten a proper sleep since she left Coruscant, and for that she was deeply grateful.


	9. Chapter 9

Neva couldn't help but feel sorry for the diminutive Jedi Master as he climbed aboard his capsule before jettisoning down to the surface of the planet the _Tantive IV_ orbited. Dagobah truly looked like a desolate place. Neva wasn't even sure she had heard of it before. But Master Yoda had been resolute in his decision. The only way to survive was to go into exile, hiding until such a day as he could be of use to Anakin and Padmé's children.

She still didn't know what was to become of the twins. She had taken to looking after them while they were all aboard the _Tantive IV_ , but no one had bothered to tell her of their fates. She had a funny feeling that she had figured it out, though. Bail had taken to visiting the newborns regularly, paying particular attention to Leia. The Former Princess and the Alderaanian Senator had spoken extensively during their wait for Obi-wan on Polis Massa, and he had revealed to her that he and his wife, Breha, were childless, and hoping to adopt in the near future. Thanks to the attention he was paying to the little girl, Neva couldn't shake the feeling that Bail was going to bring Leia home with him, adopting her himself. It was ingenious, really; hiding her in plain sight. But it was also immensely dangerous. Bail was a high profile politician, and Breha was Queen on Alderaan. If Leia was to go with him, she would undoubtedly be thrust into public life, increasing the risk that she would be discovered. The possibility of Leia one day going before the Emperor, or coming face-to-face with Darth Vader, her biological father? It was a terrifying thought, one that Neva was trying very hard not to dwell on.

Also, if the singular attention Bail was paying Leia meant she was being adopted by the Organas, it implied that they had decided to separate the children. She saw the wisdom in it, truly she did, but she also found the idea incredibly sad. After all, the two tiny babies only had each other now.

Luke's fate was a little harder to figure out. There was no way he would be left with Padmé's family; that was a foolhardy notion and Neva dismissed it almost immediately. She also knew that there was no way he would go to just anyone, either. That left Tatooine. It had taken her some time, but she had eventually recalled Obi-wan mentioning that Anakin did have some distant family on Tatooine; a step-brother, or something. It was likely then that they would send Luke to them. No one knew about them. Neva had nearly forgotten. She wasn't even sure they were technically blood relatives, either, which could only help in hiding Luke. That was the only logical conclusion she could come to.

Wherever the boy ended up, though, there was little doubt that Obi-wan would be nearby to watch over him. The way the Jedi seemed to gravitate toward the little boy made that conclusion somewhat obvious. To that end, her Jedi had become somewhat more reclusive since they had left Naboo; planning, she couldn't help but suspect. A small part of her had begun to hope that she could take Padmé's son, and together with Obi-wan they would raise him. She had always dreamed of a family. But she also knew that it was also highly unlikely that Yoda, Organa and Obi-wan would consider such an option. It didn't dim the hope, though, not once it had taken root.

Another part of her had begun to fear too. She was concerned that, from the way he had begun shutting her out, that Obi-wan was making plans that didn't include her. Maybe she had been getting a little ahead of herself in hoping that maybe, just maybe, they could have a future, but it still warranted a discussion, right? After all, neither of their feelings had dimmed. That she did know for certain. The ease with which they had fallen back into the closeness they had experienced those few days in the Garden enforced that, and more than once they had found themselves together, sitting and talking the way they had then, relearning each other as they were cooped up on Polis Massa or on the ship. It was rare that they hadn't been in each other's company since they had been reunited. He had even absently said to her once during that time that he could no longer imagine a future without her. She had wholeheartedly agreed with him. But their future had never been explicitly discussed, though she had done little but think on it for the last few days.

With the Master Jedi gone, and the Corvette launching into hyperspace, she returned to sit with the babies. It was there that Obi-wan found her, silently contemplating as she held a sleeping Luke in her arms. After a moment she noticed him standing in the door. With a sigh she stood, laying the newborn next to his sister, leaving them in the care of a nanny droid before joining Obi-wan in the hall. Without a word, she threaded her arm through his as they began a slow walk down the hall. After a few quiet moments, she couldn't hold back her suspicions any longer, deciding to test her conclusions by asking him outright.

"You are taking Luke to Tatooine, aren't you." His step faltered when she spoke, but he didn't stop. He looked down at her, a strange mix of resignation and admiration on his face. She met his serious blue-grey gaze, not at all surprised when he didn't answer. She had been right, it seemed. Neva sighed, looking away for a moment while she decided on what to say next. She had a million things rehearsed, but none of them seemed quite right. She finally decided on the most direct approach again. She stopped abruptly, halting him and pulling him around to face her in one swift movement.

"Take me with you." It took some work to keep her voice firm, but somehow she managed it, keeping the depth of her desperation to herself. It was obvious from the expression on his face that he had been expecting this.

"Neva, please. I can't. It's too—" he paused, looking over just as Bail strode around the corner, interrupting them. The Senator was momentarily startled, but he recovered quickly. Neva was hard pressed to hide the expression of insistence from her face, and obviously didn't do it fast enough, for Bail noticed it.

"Master Kenobi, Lady Amalia," he nodded gently in greeting, obviously intending to acknowledge them only before continuing on his way. But he did hesitate, and Neva wouldn't have at all been surprised if it were because he had overheard them or that he had seen her agitation and guessed it's meaning. He cleared his throat nervously, obviously wavering between leaving them to their conversation, or joining it. He settled on the latter

"Perhaps it would be best if this conversation was moved to more private quarters." As he gestured back the way he had come, Neva spared Obi-wan a glance before following Bail. She heard her Jedi sigh heavily before following as well, leaving Neva with a small feeling of satisfaction. She wasn't about to let him avoid this discussion.

Even before Bail had hit the control to close the door Obi-wan had all but rounded on Neva, his usually calm eyes flashing with apprehension.

"Neva, you don't know what you're suggesting." A spark of indignation alit in her, but Neva stamped it down. She wasn't sure how she knew it, but she guessed that he was reacting out of fear. There was so much unknown now, and in the span of a few days, the Galaxy had suddenly become much darker and more dangerous, especially for the three people standing in this room. She still couldn't help but feel defensive at his implication, crossing her arms in front of her in a gesture of ire.

"I know very well what I am suggesting. The Galaxy has fallen apart, Obi-wan. Can you blame me for wanting to hold on to what we have, especially now that there's a chance we can actually be together? I can't lose you!" He sighed heavily, his own arms crossing in front of him as he began to stroke his beard in frustration.

"And you think I can stand to lose you? You are asking me to put you in harm's way, Neva. I'm a Jedi. I'm going into exile. It is likely that I am going to be hiding or on the run for the rest of my life," his voice rose in frustration, but as it rose, threads of his grief began to show through as well, hinting only at the depth of his concern and even despair in that moment. He paused, taking a deep breath in order to calm his emotions. It was only partially successful, as his voice still betrayed his distress. "I don't want that for you. I can't offer anything else for you. And right now protecting Luke is my first priority. I have to deliver him safely to his family. It's going to be dangerous getting to Tatooine alone, Neva, much less living there; it is a hazardous planet. Plus, I'm a wanted man now. I'm not about to put you in that kind of danger. I can't take that risk." The desperation in his voice pained her. She understood what he was saying, she truly did, but he didn't seem to realize that none of that mattered to her. It stung that he didn't seem to grasp the lengths she was willing to go to to be with him.

It was then that it came to her. All at once it was clear. Her stomach alit with butterflies, and the sudden nervousness that overtook her nearly stole her voice, but she knew in her gut that it was the key to getting through to him. Something must have shown on her face, for Obi-wan shifted, his brow furrowing a little deeper in confusion. She looked up to him, her Jedi, and laid all her cards out on the table.

"We could get married." Obi-wan didn't react at first, then his eyes widened in shock. Out of the corner of her eye, Neva saw Bail's jaw drop. Both men were speechless. "You have to go into hiding, I know that, and I understand why, Ben; it is the only way for you to have a hope of survival and to keep Luke from Palpatine." She paused for a moment, unable to help the faint smile that came to her lips at the ingenuity of her idea, "but how better for a Jedi to hide than with a wife?"

"Are you...proposing?" If she hadn't been so desperate in that moment she might have laughed at how distracted he was by that point. As it was, Neva nearly shook her head in exasperation.

"Everyone knows that the Jedi forsake marriage when they join the Order."

"But Neva—" she didn't let his interruption deter the explanation of her reasoning.

"Obi-wan, just listen for a moment. There is no better way to hide than to hide in plain sight. No one would suspect a married man of being a Jedi. And a man travelling alone with a newborn is going to draw attention, especially a man that looks like a Jedi. But a man travelling with his young family? It happens all the time!" Bail looked between the two, a look of serious consideration on his face.

"She does have a point, Obi-wan. Even just posing as a married couple would make your journey easier. And it would arguably be less conspicuous, even safer when you are travelling with the boy. It would be considered highly unusual for an infant so young to be travelling without its mother." Obi-wan shot the Senator a slightly annoyed glance. Organa merely shrugged before quietly excusing himself. He knew when it was time to bow out. As soon as the door slid shut behind the retreating Senator, the Jedi turned back to her, worry surfacing in his eyes.

"Neva, do you even realize what you're suggesting? A life with me? It will be dangerous. We would be hiding for the rest of our lives." She couldn't help but close her eyes for a moment, fighting back the grief at abandoning some of her own dreams in order to grab at this one. He knew exactly what she was offering to give up, just as she did, and he wasn't sure she understood that. But she knew, deep down, that giving up those dreams would be worth being with him. And some of those dreams would come true anyway. They could still build a good, quiet life together, just not exactly the one she envisioned. She couldn't bring herself to regret her choice.

Besides, she wasn't entirely sure she had a choice anymore, either; Anakin's face on the Veranda when she had let her fear for Obi-wan slip out still hovered at the forefront of her mind, haunting her. And word had trickled to them of Palpatine's new companion, Darth Vader; it meant Anakin had survived. Neva held her Jedi's gaze.

"I do, Obi-wan, and I know." She had him. She could see it in his eyes; he wanted this too. He wanted a future with her as badly as she wanted one with him. It had come out on Naboo, all those years ago. Part of him craved the simple, normal life she had always dreamed of. Here was a chance to have it. Sure, it wasn't going to be ideal—it was Tatooine, not Naboo and he was a wanted fugitive, just as she might soon be—but it was a way to get the future with him she had once believed she could never have.

"I want this. Even if we don't actually marry just yet—or ever—I want a life with you, no matter what that entails." There was no way he could doubt that she meant what she said. He was so hesitant, but she understood why. There was so much that he was still coming to terms with, from the fall of the Republic to Anakin's betrayal, the loss of the Jedi Order to the chance of seizing a happiness he had never allowed himself to dream of. He was still the consummate Jedi. The very idea of having a romantic attachment, much less marriage, was something a Jedi gave up any hope of when they made their vows. She could see his longing to accept her offer in his eyes, but it was warring with the ideals that had been ingrained in him all his life, even knowing that the Order that dictated it was all but gone. She knew it was going to be a hard decision for him. She stepped forward until she stood before him, resting her hands on his chest.

"We can have a future, Obi-wan. A future that we didn't even let ourselves dream of. A small, faint silver lining to all this darkness that has befallen us." A slight smile came to his lips as he reached up to cup her cheek. He was still so unsure. But she could live with that for now. A small niggle of doubt tried to worm its way into her mind, but she forcefully pushed it away. She would be perfectly content to give him time. She knew the instant the idea came to mind that giving him time was going to be necessary.

"You are right and I cannot deny that. So much has changed. I will need some time, but nothing could make me happier than to marry you, Neva Adye. Come with me to Tatooine. I want you to come with me." For a split second, she didn't quite believe that she had heard him right, but then joy such as she had never experienced blossomed in her chest at those words, expanding until it filled her right to the very tips of her fingers and toes. She felt like she was glowing, she was so happy in that moment. All but throwing her arms around him, she pulled him down for a kiss, pouring every bit of her joy into that one small connection. And it made her happier still when he returned the kiss with an equal joy of his own.

* * *

Everything from that surreal moment in the common room and on seemed to have happened in fast-forward. It felt like one minute Neva was locked in Obi-wan's embrace, reeling that he had truly accepted her proposal, and the next they were on their way to Tatooine. As she had anticipated, Obi-wan wasn't quite ready for an actual wedding ceremony. Things were changing too quickly, and she didn't want to push him until he'd had time to grieve for his friends and his order and to accept the Galaxy's changed reality. So, for the time being, at least, they were only posing as a married couple. But still, even now, sitting in the tiny room they had rented the previous evening in Anchorhead, with Padmé's infant son sleeping quietly in her arms, Neva couldn't quite believe it was all real.

The journey to Tatooine had been blessedly uneventful. Neva had been right when she had said a new family would draw less attention than a lone man and an infant. The Public Transport ship had at least a dozen little families that looked just like their pseudo-one, all looking for a new life away from wherever they had come. They had also been one of three to disembark on Tatooine.

Neva was also incredibly surprised at Luke's behaviour during the trip. Many of the babies in the other families, most a great deal older than Luke's couple weeks, did little but cry and fuss. Luke was an angel. It was almost worrisome to the former Princess; he was so calm and quiet. Of course he did his own fair share of crying and fussing, especially in the first few hours after he and Leia were finally separated, but calming him was relatively easy, especially when Obi-wan took him. Neva attributed it to Luke instinctively recognizing that Obi-wan was there to protect him, or that their mutual strength with the Force created a bond between them that made the tiny infant feel safe. Perhaps it was a mixture of both. Either way, it brought a smile to Neva's face when she saw her Jedi cooing and rocking his little charge. She had come to care for the newborn a great deal, and was rather beginning to dread handing him off to his relatives in a few hours.

At one point she had hoped that, perhaps, she and Obi-wan could raise Padmé's son, but after hesitantly bringing up the topic with her Jedi, they had engaged in a rather long discussion on the matter. Disappointed but resigned, Neva had eventually ceded that Luke would be safer and better off with the Lars. No matter how much she had come to want to adopt Luke as her own, she couldn't deny that maintaining his safety was of the utmost importance. She could see it in Obi-wan's face as well that he had become attached to the boy, and for a few moments maybe even considered her suggestion. Ultimately, though, he'd needed to remain steadfast, and he had. As a surviving Jedi, he had to keep some distance from Luke, lest someone track him down. That way, should his identity and location be discovered, Obi-wan and Neva could run, distracting any prying eyes as far away from their friend's son as possible.

That didn't stop the task remaining to them from being any less emotionally difficult, for either of them.

Even now, Obi-wan was off taking care of last minute arrangements before the last leg of their journey; among them, finding a means of transportation to the Lars homestead...as well as directions, she imagined. Initially their first destination on the planet had been Mos Espa. From there, Obi-wan had managed to track down Luke's relatives to just outside the town of Anchorhead. Finding transportation to the small settlement had been interesting, but they had managed. Still, it had taken a few days, and by the time they had reached the dusty little town they had all been exhausted. They had taken some time to rest, finding the little inn where Neva now waited for her Jedi's return.

For a few quiet moments, she could pretend, though. She could pretend that the tiny baby in her arms could stay there. She could pretend that the man she was waiting for was not a fugitive. She could pretend that their lives hadn't just been turned upside down, and that their friends weren't truly gone. She could pretend they were all safe, and about to start a new life together, just as they had been pretending on the Transport. She could pretend they'd had a real choice in where their lives were going.

But her reality wasn't as she was pretending it to be. Outside the door to their little rented room, she could faintly hear Obi-wan approaching, his footsteps distinctive on the tiled floor of the musty hallway. Their time as a little family was over.

It was time to deliver Luke to his new family, and time for Neva and Obi-wan to start their life together. Lowering her head, Neva placed a gentle kiss on the baby's downy forehead before standing to greet her Jedi.

It was a bittersweet moment.


	10. Chapter 10

If someone were to describe her future life to Neva over a year and a half ago, she never would have believed them. Where she was once living in one of the most renowned and illustrious apartment complexes on the Galaxy's Capitol, she was now living in a little house between Bestine and Anchorhead. Where she had once been an aide, unofficial chamberlain and stylist to a Galactic Senator, she now took in seamstressing jobs for a couple of the clothing shops in Bestine to make a little extra money. Where she had once been pining for a Jedi she could never be with, she was now married to that Jedi and building a comfortable, simple life with him.

She had never been happier.

True, she did miss Naboo, and the thought of what was happening in the rest of the Galaxy, and even elsewhere on Tatooine, was enough to make her sick at heart. Everyday she missed her childhood home in Fara and the family she had left there. She missed Padmé, unsure of her fate and whether or not she still lived, but she didn't dare to try and find out.

Though a little part of her had wished that she could have kept Padmé's son as her own, she had come to accept that his place with the Lars was a good one. She knew that Owen, Anakin's step-brother, had not been keen on the idea of taking the baby in at first. Nor had he been particularly keen on any association with Obi-wan. But Neva was sure that, despite his gruff exterior, he genuinely cared for Luke, and didn't regret taking in the baby for a moment.

Beru, of course, had loved the little boy from the instant she laid eyes on him. Even from her perch on the eopie they had taken out to the isolated farm, Neva could see it in the woman's face when Obi-wan had laid Luke in her arms for the first time. There was nothing that woman wouldn't do for her nephew. Neva had come to learn that intimately.

Shortly after they had delivered Luke to his new family, Neva had taken it upon herself to visit the Lars Moisture Farm on her own. Obi-wan had been off on some errand or another, and Neva couldn't stand not knowing how the little boy and his relatives were doing. Beru Lars had been hesitant at first, something that Neva couldn't help but approve of, given the situation, but the two women had quickly become friends. Neva's motivation for visiting in that first instance, and for several others after that, had been to check up on Luke. She had grown to love the sweet little boy in the short time that she had looked after him. She had been worried, especially after hearing about Owen's reluctance to take the boy, how Luke was adjusting to his new home. Neva quickly learned that she had nothing to fear there, but that realization didn't put a stop to her visits. In fact, they had become quite a regular occurrence.

Beru had been born and raised on Tatooine. She was a strong and resilient woman with a loving, gentle soul, and Neva came to admire her greatly. She soon discovered that, despite periodically asking the Naboo native to help watch Luke, Beru really didn't need the help; it was all for Neva's benefit. It was something that came to mean a lot to the former Princess. Beru was deftly able to juggle the care of her young nephew and her responsibilities on the farm. She had seen right from the start that Neva had needed the connection to Luke to help in her own adjustment process. He was a link, a bridge even, for her between her former life and her new one. Neva eventually came to realize that her connection to the little boy, and eventually her friendship with Beru had helped ground her, providing a purpose and a continuity that she could lean on as she adjusted to her new life.

Also, being from a far more temperate planet, Neva had not adjusted quickly to the harsh realities and harsher climate of her new home. Beru had been an immense help there. She had become an indispensable mentor to the former Princess, patiently teaching her vital lessons on how to survive in her new home. Plus, once she had learned about Neva's seamstressing background, Beru had been the one to put Neva in contact with the few garment shops she eventually gained a partial employment with. Had it not been for the Tatooine native's advice and instruction, Neva wasn't quite sure how she would have survived the transition. Needless to say, Neva owed the young farmwife quite a lot.

More than that, she had also found a friend in Beru.

And then there was Obi-wan. The first three months had been the hardest. Not only were they both learning how to survive in their new home, they were also learning to live with each other. That fact was only complicated by the reality that they were both still dealing with the tremendous changes and trauma brought about by the events surrounding the formation of the Empire.

Neva had still been fighting the looming specter of the (artificial) death of her friend, the abrupt abandonment of her old life and necessary break with her family without notice or explanation, as well as the blow the death of Democracy in the Galaxy had caused. Everything in Neva's life was different, and she had taken it hard. Yes, her friendship with Beru had helped, but there was still a great deal that the Tatooine woman couldn't have helped with and, really, didn't know about.

Neva hadn't revealed much of her previous life to Beru beyond the basics or things she simply couldn't hide; no, she was not from a desert planet; yes, she had left friends, family and a life behind; yes, she knew Luke's parents and no she couldn't talk about them; yes, she had come with Obi-wan; yes, she was in hiding as he was. Though it was never explicitly discussed, Neva knew Beru had known about her and Obi-wan from the start. They both made sure Owen didn't find out, else Neva would have been banished from the farm like Obi-wan had. That was something that wore on her too, and Neva knew it also bothered Obi-wan. He didn't like that he couldn't check on the boy, or that Neva was periodically off travelling around Tatooine on her own. He also wasn't initially keen on Neva visiting the Farm at all, especially as she'd made the first trip without him knowing. It hadn't been something she'd been pleased about either, but she'd known Ben would have tried to stop her and it was something she needed to do. It had been the subject of their first major fight as a couple.

Obi-wan, meanwhile, had still been fighting off the memory of his battle with Anakin, something that tormented him to no end, especially through his dreams. He'd also, rather understandably, had a hard time coping with the reality that the Order he had devoted his life to had been obliterated and all his friends killed or driven into hiding; truthfully, a much harder truth to reconcile than what Neva had to deal with and one he would likely never completely come to terms with. It was something that she still periodically, though rarely, forgot; lapses that she always immediately and deeply regretted. But he internalized everything, and in falling back on his Jedi training, he often appeared far more at ease and balanced than he truly felt. It made it far too easy to forget just how deep his pain went at times, creating another early source of friction between the couple. Neva knew she could help him if only he would open up to her, just as she knew he had helped her simply by listening. She knew from experience the healing effect of letting the pain and grief out, but, being a Jedi, he had been taught his whole life not to dwell on feelings of pain, anger and loss. But there was simply too much of it this time for him to simply will away.

Really, everything in his new life that he had struggled to come to terms with had been forbidden in his old life. There were times when Neva would catch him visibly struggling with the pain and grief borne of his many losses, no matter that he quickly pushed it aside when he saw her. But she knew it would take time.

One thing that helped him, though, was his meditation. Especially when he had finally confided to her that during his sessions, he had established contact with his long dead Master, Qui-gon Jinn. After that confession, he had tried to explain it to her how Qui-gon had managed to retain his individual consciousness after his death. She hadn't understood afterward, but his attempts at helping her understand had ended up being far more entertaining than either of them had expected. It proved to be a breakthrough moment in their relationship.

After that, he was far more open with her, and she found she had a far better understanding of him. He never did come out with what had happened on Mustafar, but she eventually came to terms with that, realizing that he might never disclose what had happened. He finally opened up about the loss of his Order though, and it had been far more cathartic for him than he had expected, something that relieved Neva to no end.

So, after months of dancing around each other, hesitantly trying to start building a life together, those crucial breakthroughs had made all the difference, and they were finally able to start moving forward. Her Obi-wan had taken to going by Ben, the name she had affectionately called him by nearly from the start. Together they began making their little house a home, and for the first time in rather a long time, Neva felt truly at peace. Her dream of a quiet life was coming true. Then, not long after they found their little house in a small settlement between Bestine and Anchorhead, Obi-wan had met her standing proposal with one of his own. Not two weeks later they had finally married. Beru stood as their witness with little Luke gurgling in her arms. It had been the happiest day of Neva's life.

She couldn't help but think of that day as she sat in the marginally cooler common area of their little home. The rough-spun garments in her hands were absolutely nothing like the exquisite materials she used to work with, or wear for that matter. Her wedding dress, for instance, had been simple; the green and copper gown she had worn the first time she and Obi-wan had wandered through their garden on Naboo together. He told her once that it was his favourite, and that it brought out the green in her hazel eyes. It was one of the only garments she had left from before Tatooine. But it didn't bother her. Plus, she never had to wear her hair in borderline ridiculous fashion anymore; it had been loose at her wedding, and nearly every day since. It had been an almost perfect day. It was only the absences that had made her wedding to her Ben bittersweet.

Outside she could hear the rather unique sound of Ben's beat-up swoop approaching. With a smile she set down her mending and went to stand, intending to meet him at the door. She was stopped though, by another one of the dizzy spells that had plagued her the last little while. Only now, as she waited for the sensation to pass, it didn't fill her with worry, only a growing feeling of hope. As she heard the faint whoosh of the front door opening and her Ben stepping through, she couldn't stop the smile that came to her lips as her hand found her belly.

If Beru's suspicions from earlier today were right, Neva would soon have a new happiest day.

* * *

Neva could only hold Ben tighter as the engines of the transport ship behind her began to spool up and the Passenger-master bellowed out his last call. She did not want to go, all her instincts were telling her not to, even though her head told her she must.

It was proving to be one of the hardest days of her life.

It broke her heart to think that what she had hoped would be their greatest joy was separating them like this. She never dreamed that that one stray blaster bolt from years past would emerge to haunt her like this.

Telling Obi-wan that she suspected she was pregnant did turn out to be one of the happiest days of her life. He had scared her a little at first with the apprehension that had appeared in his usually tender gaze. But then his blue-grey eyes had lit up with the same joy she had been trying to control since Beru first roused her suspicions. Then he had spun her around the room before kissing her soundly to express his joy. It was days before it fully sank in that their little family was about to grow, with Obi-wan asking her time and time again if she was sure, even after repeatedly reaching out through the Force to touch the tiny life growing within her. He hesitated at first to answer her when she questioned him about why he couldn't stop asking for reassurance; he said he was trying to convince himself it wasn't a dream, and that he was in no danger of waking from it.

She was out shopping with Beru when they had to wake from the dream. Neva had gone into Anchorhead with Beru and little Luke one afternoon when suddenly Neva found herself waking up on the ground, a fire in her side, an ache in her middle that only seemed to be growing and a frightened looking Beru hovering over her. The Tatooine native had all but rushed her to the closest medical clinic. Sensing her distress through the Force, Obi-wan burst into the clinic not long after Beru had managed to get Neva settled in with the medical droid. Neva had never been more terrified in her life, and judging by the look in her husband's eyes, neither had he.

The droid broke down Neva's condition for her. The blaster wound she had sustained during the assassination attempt years earlier had apparently done more damage than anyone had realized. To put it bluntly, there was doubt that Neva's body would be able to carry their baby to term. After its examination, the droid even expressed its wonder at her even becoming pregnant in the first place. It went on to explain that there was even a chance that, without medical technologies beyond those available in the Outer Rim, Neva's very life could be at risk.

To say that the news had nearly devastated Neva and grieved the young couple was an understatement. It was almost two days before Neva really spoke, and almost a week before she and Obi-wan came to their final, heart-wrenching decision.

Neva had to leave Tatooine. And she had to leave Obi-wan. He couldn't leave Luke, and with the Jedi still being actively hunted, there was no way he could show his face on any planet with the type of medical facilities Neva needed. It was finally decided that she would go home to Naboo. There, at least, she could be surrounded by her family when their child came if she couldn't be with him. But that didn't lessen her anxiety in the slightest. Especially when Obi-wan insisted she would be safe enough on Naboo. A large part of her spirit soared at the thought of seeing her Homeplanet again, but another part sunk.

Even months later, the cruel, knowing look in Anakin's eyes that night on the Veranda haunted her. Plus, the more she thought on it, the more she realized that security recordings in Padmé's apartment would confirm any suspicions Darth Vader had about her relationship with Obi-wan if he was inquisitive enough to search them. And the newly-minted Sith knew she was from Naboo. She had told Obi-wan about that night, unable to keep the tremor from her voice at the memory. Even Obi-wan's assurances that she would be all right failed to completely quell her anxiety. But he assured her enough that it was likely the best option for the simple reason that Darth Vader would know she knew of his suspicions. It would be like hiding in plain sight, especially as Naboo greatly valued the maintenance of its people's privacy. Besides, she knew Naboo in ways the Emperor's right hand didn't, and she knew he was likely looking for her.

So preparations were made and, all too soon, it was time for Neva to leave. Neva and Ben had travelled to the docking bay in silence, neither one wanting to start the inevitable goodbyes.

"I can't do this, Ben. I need you at my side." The words tore at her throat like a sob. But she refused to let her tears fall. With a heavy sigh, Obi-wan pulled back from their embrace ever so slightly, his gaze dropping to her gently rounded belly where his hand rested protectively. She could see in his eyes that every instinct in him was urging him not to let her go. But like her, his rational mind knew that she had to.

"You have to, Neva. Our child needs you to. Its only hope—your best hope—is on Naboo," a faint smile came to his lips, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, "besides, the sooner you leave, the sooner you'll be back." Neva couldn't help but scoff at the clichéd adage, though the hint of a smile tugged at her lips. Behind them, the Passenger-master called one last time.

So, with a final hushed goodbye and one last kiss, Neva pulled away from her husband, hurrying to board the ship only moments before the ramp hissed shut, blocking Obi-wan from her sight.

It took everything she had to keep the anxiety she felt in check. Everything would be all right, she tried to assure herself for the millionth time as the Transport shuddered beneath her feet. But then she felt the sensation of Obi-wan's consciousness brushing against her own. The love and reassurance in the touch did far more to calm her nerves than her own anxious reasoning did. Finding an empty compartment, Neva lowered herself onto one of the threadbare seats. Cradling her growing belly, she felt the tiny flutter under her palm that finally strengthened her resolve. She could do this. The little life beneath her fingers was depending on her.

"We will be alright. And we will see your father again," she whispered.


	11. Epilogue

It was almost time to go. Tomorrow morning she would pick up little Athara, the nanny droid would help her grab their bags and they would be on their way back to Tatooine. There was very little in the way of things that she still needed to pack, but Neva couldn't help but consider herself ready to depart. Never, in a million years, could she have ever imagined she would be so excited to return to the sandy planet, especially at the expense of leaving her beautiful Naboo, but she found that she didn't mind. Not when leaving meant that she was on her way back to her Ben. These last few months had been so hard. There was nothing she regretted more than not having Ben at her side when their daughter was born. It turned out to be a good thing she had returned to Naboo, as their daughter's birth had taken several nearly dangerous turns. Thankfully, Athara had arrived safely, so Neva couldn't fully regret her and Ben's decision.

But they were going back to Tatooine now. That's what mattered. She could barely contain her excitement at the thought of seeing Ben holding Athara for the first time. Right now, there was nothing she wanted more.

After checking that her tiny daughter was still sleeping soundly, Neva started her final sweep of the little house she had been renting on the outskirts of her childhood village. Not for the first time a tiny wish that they could raise their daughter here floated through Neva's thoughts, but she pushed it away. There was no use dwelling. Instead, she went from room to room, sifting through the items that remained just in case she had forgotten something important.

She was so focused on her task that the moment the door chime sounded she nearly jumped out of her skin. She thought little of it as she turned toward the door; neighbours had been dropping by all day to give their best wishes, and to say goodbye. Yet there was something that felt—off this time.

The feeling of dread that began welling in the pit of her stomach as she made her way to the door was wholly justified, for standing on the other side was nothing short of her worst nightmare.

The sound of Darth Vader's mechanized breathing sent chills down her spine as he crossed the threshold into her house.

* * *

It had been an anxious few months. But, life had to go on. So, Obi-wan continued discreetly checking up on Luke, focusing on his meditations and taking care of the little home they had made. He had also continued working on the hut they had discussed in the middle of the Jundland Wastes; a safe place to go if they ever needed to hide, she had called it. It was almost done, but there was no doubt that Neva was going to have a myriad little things that she was going to want to add or fix or adjust. And he would no doubt indulge her, he couldn't help but think wryly. Not that he minded in the least. It was her fussing and adjusting that had made their little house between Bestine and Anchorhead a home, and he couldn't imagine having things any other way. Because of that, he could barely contain his excitement at the thought of her and their little girl finally coming home. Soon they would be in his arms, and he would be whole again.

That was why he had traveled to Mos Espa. The Public Transport she was taking was due to land there, and he wouldn't miss meeting them for anything in the Galaxy. But they weren't due for several hours, yet. It was enough to cause him significant anxiety. But thankfully he still had his training to help him there. The Force was a powerful balm in such situations, regardless of his hesitation to reach out for it.

There was so much risk in reaching out to the Force now. Vader seemed desperate to find him, and with Neva and their child to protect, Obi-wan had tried to refrain from drawing too heavily on the Force these last few months. He had even gone so far as to try and keep from using it altogether for a time, especially when he and Neva found out about her pregnancy. There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep them safe. As it was, sometimes he had an extreme amount of difficulty in touching Neva through the Force. They were close enough that he was more attuned to her life-force than he had ever been to anyone before. But she was too far away. He couldn't feel her from Tatooine, no matter how hard he tried. It unsettled him. She had become his anchor just as much as he knew he was hers. She helped him balance out the feelings left over from Mustafar and Order 66 that he was still coming to terms with. And now added to that was his anxiety over the impending birth of their child and his worry for their safety. All of that together had come to colour his touch with the Force when it came to them. Every night he was haunted by nightmares that refused to let him rest, threatening him with images of something, anything, bad happening and causing him to lose his little family.

Now he could begin to understand just how Anakin must have felt; it was hard to keep those swirling worries and fears from taking over.

And then there was that gut-wrenching feeling of dread the other morning. He was anxious enough that he hadn't immediately been able to identify the sensation, so he wasn't entirely sure what it meant. All he could discern was that it was a deep sensation of dread and fear. It was disconcerting enough that he had been unable to sleep properly since, the sensation causing his anxieties about his little family's safety to resurface with a vengeance. But, after a great deal of meditation and a great deal of thought, he had finally conceded and attributed the sensation to anxiety over Neva's absence intensified by the knowledge that they were about to return home. Nevertheless, the feeling had stayed with him, and that made him feel deeply uneasy.

Everything would be better when he had his wife and daughter home and safe.

So, in the meantime, he had chosen a small cantina to while away the time left before they were due. It was a chance, after all, to listen in on what was happening in the rest of the Galaxy. Not that there was much in the way of new news. Palpatine was still tightening his stranglehold on the former Republic, the few remaining 'traitor Jedi' were being hunted down and dispatched, and Tatooine was either wilfully apathetic or woefully oblivious to all of it, not to mention rather displaced from it all by sheer virtue of being a small desert planet on the Outer Rim. Either way, he got more information from the Holonet Reports playing over the main bar than from any of the denizens of the rather grimy establishment. And that was saying something...

He began thinking it was a bad idea to have entered the bar, though, when all of a sudden it was his face flashing across the screens. Thankfully, with his hood up, no one seemed to be paying him much attention. Deciding it was time to move on, he started to get up, but the headline that appeared next to his face caused his blood to freeze.

 _Former Naboo Royalty and Child Murdered by Dangerous Wanted Jedi_.

It was Neva's face that they had placed next to his with that horrible headline.

Obi-wan nearly screamed.

He forced himself to watch the story, though. He needed to know what happened, and though he knew the entire story was likely nothing more than Imperial spin, there was going to be some seeds of truth in it. They claimed her body had been found in her home on Naboo with obvious lightsaber wounds, and all evidence pointed to him as the culprit as it appeared she had offered him aid. Darth Vader had visited the scene, and was spearheading the hunt for the 'Dangerous Jedi'. There was no further mention of the child. His child, he realized disjointedly, his thoughts in chaos. He didn't want to believe it, and desperately reached out to the Force to see if it was true.

The Force never lied.

He could feel something warm and wet running down his face and into his beard. It took him a moment to realize they were tears.

He couldn't watch anymore.

In an instant he was up on his feet, striding purposefully out the door. Before he even realized it, he was in the speeder he had rented and was winding his way through the streets and out of Mos Espa. He didn't even know where he was going. All he knew was that he wasn't going back to their little house. He couldn't. He needed to come to terms before he could go back there.

It was something he wasn't sure he was ever going to be able to do.

This was Vader's doing. It had to be. Neva had voiced concern once that the Sith Lord may have figured out there was a connection between them thanks to an encounter shortly after the attack on the Jedi Temple. She was concerned that Vader might start hunting her too in an effort to find him. She had been right. He had tried assuaging her fears, reassuring her that it wasn't likely. Now he realized he had been trying to reassure himself as much as he was her.

He stopped the speeder. He was practically in the middle of the nowhere by now, with nothing but empty desert to his left and rocky wasteland to the right. The little hut was ahead, he realized absently. He barely registered getting out of the speeder, turning to face where he knew the hut was off in the distance. She had been somewhat skeptical of his drive to build the little hut, but he had convinced her that it was a good idea. He had barely started it when the risks of her pregnancy had become apparent, forcing her to return to Naboo for the baby's sake. She had joked that he had better have it finished before she got back.

And now she was never coming home. And neither was their daughter. He had been so excited to hold her, to watch her grow. The very thought left him numb inside, which was almost a blessing compared to the excruciating grief that, deep down, he knew was going to come as the news sank in.

They had discussed names before Neva had left, both of them knowing that their child would be born before they were reunited. If it was a boy, they had narrowed it down to Orran after Neva's grandfather, or Athara for his mother if it was a girl. Now, all he had was a single image of their little girl. Neva had somehow managed to get the data chip containing the Holo to Beru, who then passed it on to Obi-wan along with the message that they would be coming home.

The Holo showed Neva smiling out of the projection at him, her eyes somehow promising that they would see him soon. She was holding their daughter up so he could see her. She was so tiny, and Obi-wan could barely see her face she had been so wrapped up in her blanket. One tiny hand had escaped the soft-looking swaths, as if reaching out for him. She looked so content there, lovingly nestled in her mother's arms.

His daughter.

Athara.

Now he was never going to hold her.

Out in the middle of the desert, he fell to his knees as his grief crashed down on him.

Off to the west, the first of the twin suns sank below the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don't hate me. Please?
> 
> Yes we have reached the end of this story. You have no idea how much it hurt me to have to do this, but it had to be done. This was preordained before I typed the first sentence of this story.
> 
> But! But, this story is the Prequel for the story "Lady Obscura: Little More Than a Shadow". So the journey is not over just yet!
> 
> There are no words for the depth and sincerity of the gratitude I feel for everyone who has read, left Kudos, bookmarked, subscribed and commented on this story, and I very much look forward to seeing you all again over at the continuation. I've posted a list outlining the rest of the Series this story belongs to as a final 'chapter' next just to give you a taste (and maybe a little closure) to whet your appetite!
> 
> I hope you all have enjoyed this product of my overactive imagination and don't hate me too much for it how it has ended.
> 
> If you wish, I will not complain if you want to let me know of your feelings and reactions with a comment! I am always anxious for feedback, especially if it's constructive criticism! Just try not to spoil things too much for people who may not have read the story yet. I will try to respond to any comments and questions ASAP!
> 
> Again, Thank You all so much to everyone for reading, favouriting, following and reviewing!
> 
> Happy Reading! And may the Force be with you!


	12. The Story Continues

Hello There, My Lovely Readers,

If you are reading this, you have read and (hopefully) loved Neva's story, and I imagine you want to know what happens next! Well, there's more to the Lady Adyé Story-verse than just Lady Amalia: The Almost Queen. The Story continues, my Star Wars-loving friends!

______________________

As I'm sure most of you have figured out, especially since some of you may have read it before you made your way to Lady Amalia, up next is the story of Neva's daughter Athara, **Lady Obscura: Little More than a Shadow**. If you haven't read it yet, I very highly recommend it! 

_Lady Obscura: Little More than a Shadow : _

_Athara has known nothing but Vader's protection her whole life. He raised her and taught her to keep her true Force potential a virtual secret from the Emperor, knowing that Palpatine would either covet her strength...or seek to destroy it. She became known throughout the Galaxy as Lady Obscura, Imperial Agent and Vader's mysterious shadow: The Right Hand of the Emperor's Right Hand._

_But the Rebel Alliance is growing stronger and when the depth of Athara's Powers come to the Emperor's attention, she can do nothing but run._

_It's then that everything changes._

_Part 2 in the Lady Adyé Trilogy._ _  
_

_Ep. IV through to Ep. VI; HS/LO, (eventually) LS/OC_

______________________ _  
_

Next up is the third story in the Trilogy, **Lady Adyé: The Resistance Commander**. It's all about Ana Adyé, the next generation of our awesome Adyé women! And wouldn't you know it, she's a pilot for the Resistance and about to face the events of Episode VII and beyond!

 _ Lady Adyé: The Resistance Commander _ _:_

_As Red Leader with the Resistance, Commander Ana Adyé was perfectly content living without the Force. Thanks to the shadows in her past, she wanted nothing to do with it ._

_But when the Force begins to wake, stirred by events a long time coming, Ana will have to face whether or not she'll be able resist its call..._

_...or if it ever really left her at all._

_Part 3 in the Lady Adyé Trilogy._

_Focus on tFA onward. PD/OC, HS/LO, and Presumes LS/OC._

______________________

And once you've finished Parts One and Two of the Trilogy, don't forget about the One-Shot Companion Series, **Their Lady Adyé** : a series of one-shots that take place during, before or after the Lady Adyé Trilogy. Each of these instalments will be alternate PoVs/scenes that, for one reason or another, didn't make it into the main stories. 

 _ Their Lady Adyé _ _:_

_A series of one-shots from during, before or after the stories of the "Lady Adyé Series", which centre around Neva, Athara and Ana Adyé. Most of these one-shots will be alternate PoVs/scenes that, for one reason or another, didn't make it into "Lady Amalia: The Almost-Queen", "Lady Obscura: Little More than a Shadow" or "Lady Adyé: The Resistance Commander"._

_Featuring Luke, Han, Obi-wan, Vader, Leia, and more...and of course, Neva, Athara and Ana._

_And reading Lady Amalia: The Almost Queen and Lady Obscura: Little More than a Shadow first is highly recommended, as these one-shots will contain spoilers for those stories.  
_

_Companion to the Lady Adyé Trilogy._ _  
_

______________________

And finally, we have **Lady Obscura: A Rogue One Story**. As I'm sure you can all guess from the title, it is to  Lady Obscura: Little More than a Shadow what Rogue One is to Episode IV. It's all about Athara and her perspective of the events Rogue One explores. I know many of you have been curious about what Athara's life was like before she broke with the Empire, so here's a glimpse into her life as Lady Obscura!

 _ Lady Obscura: A Rogue One Story _ _:_

_Just as Rogue One serves as a Prologue to Episode IV, this story is a prologue to Lady Obscura: Little More than a Shadow. It provides a glimpse into Athara's life as Vader's Shadow in the critical lead up to the events that would culminate in the destruction of the Death Star over Yavin IV._

_A glimpse into the life of Lady Obscura._

_Companion to the Lady Adyé Trilogy._

______________________ _  
_

Of course, you can find any of these new additions through my profile or basic search. I hope to see you there and I hope you enjoy!

Happy Reading,

And May the Force be with You!

DLA

**Author's Note:**

> Yes we have reached the end of this story. You have no idea how much it hurt me to have to do this, but it had to be done. This was preordained before I typed the first sentence of this story.
> 
> But! But, this story is just the beginning! It's only part one is a steadily growing series, so the ride is not over just yet!
> 
> There are no words for the depth and sincerity of the gratitude I feel for everyone who has read, left Kudos, Bookmarked and Commented this little story, and I very much look forward to seeing you all again at the continuation of this story, "Lady Obscura: Little More than a Shadow". I'll post the synopsis below just to give you a taste (and maybe a little closure) to whet your appetite!
> 
> I hope you all have enjoyed this product of my overactive imagination and don't hate me too much for it how it has ended.
> 
> If you wish, I will not complain if you want to let me know of your feelings and reactions with a comment! I am always anxious for feedback, especially if it's constructive criticism! Just try not to spoil things too much for people who may not have read the story yet. I will try to respond to any comments and questions ASAP!
> 
> Again, Thank You all so much to everyone for leaving Kudos, Bookmarks, and Comments!
> 
> Happy Reading! And may the Force be with you!


End file.
